


Feeling It All

by PhantomRemix



Category: Tokio Hotel
Genre: Adult Content, Alcohol, Angst, Drama, Drugs, F/M, Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Suicide, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Romance, Sexual Content, Slow Burn, Warnings May Change, Work In Progress
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-01-05
Updated: 2021-03-09
Packaged: 2021-03-15 18:35:18
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 11
Words: 30,348
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28568598
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PhantomRemix/pseuds/PhantomRemix
Summary: When a young woman meets the Kaulitz twins, it changes all of their lives in a way they never could have imagined.
Relationships: Bill Kaulitz/Original Female Character(s)
Comments: 22
Kudos: 8





	1. The Best Day

**Author's Note:**

> This story has been a dear project of mine since 2007. I've been doing a lot of rewriting to improve it and here it comes! 
> 
> A big thank you to **LiveLaughWrite** for your never ending support and love to keep me motivated through this journey! <3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Maya is on vacation with her aunt and friend when the most incredible thing happens.

# The Best Day

It was one of the final days of our holiday in Spain. My friend Grace and I were out exploring when she poked my arm.

“Hey, are you really gonna end this vacation with that grumpy face?” she asked with a sigh.

I wanted to punch her straight in the face, but I gritted my teeth while balling my fists up instead. 

Tokio Hotel, my favorite band, was playing in Barcelona that evening - and I wasn’t going. Grace knew how much I loved them, but she didn’t share this particular obsession with me. 

“Of all the days we’ve been here, this one is the worst. You know that,” I growled back at her and felt tears welling up in my eyes. 

“You’ve seen them before, and you will get another chance later, I’m sure,” Grace said and placed a hand on my arm. I knew she was trying to comfort me, but I pulled my arm away anyway. I was just not in the mood. 

Later that day, we had returned to our hotel to meet up with my aunt Lisa for dinner. I had lived with her for almost ten years now and she was the one who took us here on vacation. I knew I should be grateful, but the timing was simply horrible. 

We walked into the restaurant on the first floor of the hotel and a waiter placed us at our table. Lisa sat down with her back against the wall and Grace and myself sat next to each other on the opposite side. I had dressed up in a casual dress and put my long, bleach blonde hair up in a ponytail.  
As I raised my head to look at my aunt, my attention was immediately drawn to a poster on the wall behind her. 

_“TOKIO HOTEL, LIVE!”_

I rolled my eyes and scoffed loudly as the others were browsing the menu. Grace looked up and saw me biting my lip not to explode and scanned the room. She saw the poster and once again put a comforting hand on my shoulder. 

“Maya, honey…” she whispered. 

“So what are you girls having? I’ll try the grilled chicken,” Lisa said and tried to ignore my bad mood.

Grace gave my shoulder a light squeeze and chose the same as my aunt. 

“Whatever… A burger,” I mumbled. 

Lisa placed our orders and our drinks were served shortly after. I had recently turned eighteen, but I didn’t want to drink alcohol with my aunt around.

Despite her refusing it, I was pretty sure she had a drinking problem.  
I sipped at my sprite and didn’t even look at them until my aunt talked to me.

“Maya, could you please behave? We’re on vacation and we’re supposed to be happy,” she said with a sarcastic smile to demonstrate. 

I took a deep breath and choked back all the things I wanted to say to her.

I was thankful for my aunt taking me into her home as a kid, but we weren’t exactly the best of friends. Now that I was eighteen, I was pretty sure she wanted me out of her house just as much as I wanted to leave it. 

“Please, don’t,” I replied and pulled my phone up from my pocket.

I knew Lisa hated phones at the table, but I couldn’t care less at that moment. I stared at the clock - any minute now, Tokio Hotel was going on stage just a few streets from our hotel. 

The food was served and I tried my best to enjoy it. My appetite was long gone, despite being very hungry. Grace and Lisa were chatting casually while I forced myself to eat.  
That’s when I heard loud giggles in the distance. 

I whipped my head around and saw a group of girls wearing Tokio Hotel t-shirts on their way out. 

Slowly, I turned my head back with a blank stare in my blue eyes. My aunt finally acknowledged my anger about the concert as it seemed she could hear the cogwheels turn inside my head.

“I understand that you’re upset that you’re missing it, but we’re on vacation together. I won’t let you go to that thing alone,” she said.

I pointed to Grace in frustration.

“She could go with me! I don’t have to go alone!” I growled at my aunt’s stupid reason for denying me my concert. 

Grace didn’t say a word, but I knew she would come with me if that was what it took. Sadly, my aunt had made up her mind and it wouldn’t make any difference anyway.  
I had a plan though. 

When Lisa paid for our dinner and was ready to head back to the room, I grabbed Grace’s arm. 

“We’re going to the venue,” I stated in a firm voice.

If I couldn’t go to the concert, I at least wanted to try to get a glimpse of the boys from the outside. I checked the time on my phone again - the concert would soon be over and we had to hurry. 

Grace raised her eyebrows, but nodded.

“Thank you so much for dinner, Lisa!” I said and got on my feet. I grabbed my jacket and made a gesture for Grace to act cool and get a move on. 

“If you don’t mind, we would like to go for a walk before bedtime,” I said, trying to not sound like I was begging.

“Sure, but don’t be long. I’m going to go to my room and read. Text me when you’re back safely, hm? G’night,” she replied and got up with a yawn. 

As soon as Lisa was out of sight, I wheezed at Grace and grabbed her hand. I pulled her along, through the front door of the hotel and started jogging toward the venue.

“Calm down!” Grace breathed behind me and pulled her hand out of mine. 

“No! Come on, move!” I yelled back as I kept walking. 

There was still time. Maybe we could hear the last song from the outside before the boys left the stage. 

I was determined to at least see them leave the venue. 

Grace rolled her eyes and kept following me all the way there.

It was getting dark and I was worried I would be unable to see the band whenever they left the building.

We could hear the distorted sound of them still playing through the wall, but I couldn’t even make out what song it was. I leaned back against the wall and lit a cigarette to calm my nerves. The show would be over soon and I needed to stay focused. 

“Maya! Come here!” Grace yelled and called me back to reality. 

She had gone exploring on her own and I ran over to her. 

“What?” I asked impatiently.

Grace pointed a finger into the distance and I squinted my eyes to see properly.

A massive bus was parked by the corner of the other side of the building. My mouth fell open as I saw it and turned around to stare at my friend.

“I know, I’m awesome,” she said and flicked her red hair over her shoulder with a laugh. 

“Oh my god, I love you!” I whined and threw my arms around her neck in a hug.

This had to be the band exit and I dropped my cigarette butt on the ground and stomped it out with my shoe. As soon as I inhaled to say something, the music from the venue stopped. A roar of screaming fans could be heard and I felt my knees start to give in. 

“This is it, Maya!” Grace said and clapped her hands.

I knew she was excited for me, and she probably prayed that I would get to see the band so she could finally see me smile for the first time this week. 

I nodded and held my breath for what seemed like an eternity. The front doors of the venue opened and the stream of fans started to leave for their hotels. I didn’t even blink as I held on tightly to the barrier in front of me, staring at the exit door a few feet away.

Finally, a couple of guards in uniforms approached the door and looked around to make sure it was ok to open. 

To my surprise, we were the only ones there. We seemingly didn’t pose a threat so the guards opened the door. 

The light from the inside of the building enhanced the silhouettes of Bill’s fluffy hair and Tom’s dreadlocks as they walked outside. 

Grace poked my ribs as I felt like I had lost my voice. If I didn’t call for them right now, they would board the bus and leave.  
I was so nervous and looked at Grace with a terrified expression on my face. 

“God, you’re hopeless,” she sighed before leaning over the barrier.

“Hello! Guys!” she yelled and waved her hands.

My heart was racing and my hands were shaking - then Tom turned his head toward us. He poked his brother’s arm and they started walking.

I whispered a million things to myself while Grace was giggling.

“Hello girls!” Bill said and I could see how his eyes searched for something to sign. 

I didn’t think of that part and felt more awkward than ever. Fuck. I didn’t even bring my handbag and had nothing but the phone in my pocket.

“Did you enjoy the show?” Tom asked. 

“Actually… We didn’t get to see it,” I said with great sadness. 

The twins looked surprised by the fact, since we were standing by the venue. I was twisting my brain to figure out what to say, but I was luckily rescued by Bill.

“Aw, that’s too bad! Come here then,” he said and took a step closer to the barrier.

He stretched his arms out, inviting me in for a hug and I felt my cheeks blush. I reached out and squeezed my body as tightly against the barrier as humanly possible as he wrapped his arms around me. I never wanted to let him go, but I kept my calm.

The twins switched places and Tom hugged me as well. Just as he let go of me, he kissed my cheek and I couldn’t contain a giggle. 

I reached for my pocket and pulled my phone up.

“W-would you mind?” I asked them both and held my phone up with the camera open. 

“Of course, come on,” Bill said and I turned my back against the barrier to take our picture.

As Tom moved over to take a photo with me as well, I saw Grace rummaging through her purse and eventually pulled out an old receipt and a pen.

“Bingo!” she cheered and handed me the items. 

I looked at the boys while holding the crumpled receipt and Tom reached out a hand to grab it. 

“What’s your name, pretty girl?” he asked.

“M-Maya,” I replied and he signed the blank side of the piece of paper before handing it over to Bill. He sent a glance at his brother before signing it.

The two guards were clearing their throats and Bill whipped his head around to give them a nod. 

“We have to go now, but it was so nice to meet you!” he said and returned the pen and the signed receipt.

“Thank you so much for this, I really appreciate it!” I beamed and my cheeks hurt from smiling so much. 

We waved them both goodbye and I held the signed receipt close to my chest as I watched the boys walk away. As soon as they were inside the bus and its engine started, I let my breath out. My knees finally gave in and I had to hold on to the barrier for a moment.

“Oh my _god_ , Grace!” I yelled and she laughed out loud. 

We started to walk back to the hotel and I texted Lisa that we were on our way. I stared at the photos I took while rambling about the experience all the way to our room. 

I plopped down on the bed and leaned down on my back with a happy sigh. I looked at the photos on my phone once more and let my hands drop down over my heart.

Grace was getting ready for bed and laughed at me as she put her PJs on.

“I’m so happy you got to meet them, Maya. I really am,” she said with a genuine smile. 

“Thank you so much for calling them over, I don’t know what happened to me,” I said and got up to change as well. 

Grace shrugged lightly and crawled into bed. I gently placed my phone and the receipt on the nightstand on my side of the bed and went to brush my teeth. 

I stared at myself in the mirror and the face staring back at me was so very different from the one I had seen in the morning. 

I lay down in the bed and picked my phone up once more to look at the photos. Grace leaned over to see and playfully punched my shoulder.

“Grace, Tom kissed my cheek when he hugged me! Did he do that to you too?” I squealed. 

Her eyes grew big when she said he hadn’t and I felt a weird sense of pride for getting that little bonus treatment. 

“Anyway, I’m super tired and I need to sleep. I can’t imagine you’ll get much sleep tonight, but if you do, I wish you sweet dreams,” Grace laughed and turned her light off. 

She was absolutely right, I was not tired at all. I could just lie there and stare at my pictures all night. I decided to take a closer look at the autographs and held the piece of paper under the lamp on my nightstand. I let out a long breath while letting my finger run over the signatures when I spotted something. 

Below Tom’s signature were a series of numbers. My stomach felt like it imploded when I realized it was a phone number. I turned around and was just about to punch Grace’s arm when I saw she was asleep. My eyes were wide open and I turned back to my side to stare at the paper again. 

I grabbed my phone and saved the number - one could never know if the receipt would catch fire during the night. 

I spent the next twenty minutes trying to stay quiet while searching for the perfect picture to add to my new contact. 

Tom Kaulitz. 

Tom Kaulitz gave me his number. 

I hoped.

That’s when I tried to search for it and to my great relief, it was a hidden number. 

I wanted to send a text so badly, but it was the middle of the night and I didn’t want to seem like a crazy person. Eventually, I had to put my phone away and try to get some sleep. 

~

The following morning, I wasn’t sure if I had slept at all when the sunlight hit my face through the curtains. When I heard the water running in the bathroom, I realized that I had actually been sleeping quite heavily. 

Grace came out of the bathroom with a towel wrapped around her head.

“Hello there, sleeping beauty,” she chuckled. 

I waved lazily at her and pushed myself up to sit against the wall. Then I remembered the phone number and my eyes shot up. I wanted to tell her so badly, but something inside me told me to keep it to myself. 

“You okay? You look like you’ve seen a ghost,” she said and sat down on the edge of the bed.

“Oh, yeah, yeah,” I assured her. I was more than okay - I was ecstatic.

The tingling feeling inside my stomach was soon replaced by a growl of hunger and I got up to prepare for breakfast. This was our final day in Barcelona before we were heading back home to Sweden. 

Grace and I headed to the hotel restaurant where we met up with Lisa. 

“Someone’s in a better mood. What did you guys do last night?” my aunt asked us while we sat down at our table. 

“Actually, we went to the venue…” I started and happily sipped at my orange juice. 

For the first time in a long time, I saw my aunt look slightly interested in what I had to say. I took a bite of my toast before continuing. 

“And we met the twins when the show was over,” I stated, trying not to giggle uncontrollably. 

The grin on my face told her everything she needed to know though, and she nodded.

“Cool,” she said while putting a slice of cheese on her toast. 

I could see her roll her eyes, even if she tried to hide it. I gritted my teeth not to say something stupid and managed to stay calm. It didn’t matter if she was jumping in joy for me or if she didn’t care at all.

For once in my life, I wanted to be happy for myself. It was my dream that came true the night before, not hers. 

“Yeah, it was pretty cool,” I mumbled and smiled to myself. 

I finished my own toast and pulled my phone up from my pocket. I had secured the signed receipt inside the cover and had every intention of framing it and hanging it next to my bed when we came back home. 

I opened a new message on my phone and started typing. Then I deleted it and started over again. And again. 

What could I even write? Everything I wrote seemed too fangirly and weird, so I shoved the phone back in my pocket. 

We left the restaurant and my aunt suggested we started to prepare for our departure. 

Grace and I headed back to our room to start packing our bags and I kept taking long breaks to type on my phone just to erase it all once more. 

“The fuck are you doing?” Grace asked, clearly annoyed by me being so distracted.

“Nothing, let’s get this done,” I replied and put my phone away. 

I would have to figure something out soon, before he forgot all about me. I surely wasn’t the first person he’d given his number to, right? 

~

We were sitting at the airport, waiting to board our flight. I had put my headset on to make sure the others would leave me alone for a while.  
Once again, I was typing on my phone;

_“Hi Tom. It’s Maya from last night. I’m surprised, but very happy that you gave me your number! Did you get home safely? I’m waiting for my flight right now. Hope to hear from you soon. :)”_

This time I found the strength - I hit send.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for reading!   
> Feedback is always appreciated :)


	2. Planning Ahead

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Maya gets an invitation she can't turn down.

#  Planning Ahead

I didn’t like flying at all and both Grace and my aunt left me alone for the most part before boarding. 

I wished they would talk to me and get my mind off of my phone though. I kept staring at the screen, waiting for a reply to my text, but nothing happened. 

“Fucks sake, are we getting on this thing soon?” I asked while pulling my headset off. 

“Just a few more minutes now,” Grace replied and offered me a can of coke.

I accepted the can and drank the whole thing in one go. At least I had to put my phone in airplane mode soon and didn’t have to expect anything to happen for a few hours. 

We found our seats and I waited until the absolute final notice to turn off our devices - still no reply. 

Maybe he got a number wrong? Maybe he gave out false phone numbers just to tease the fans… Maybe… 

My mind was racing with all sorts of scenarios. 

No matter how much I wanted it to be real, I would be better off realizing that I would never get a text back from Tom Kaulitz. 

~

We finally arrived back home in Sweden and as soon as the plane’s wheels hit the ground, I turned my phone back on. I gave it a few seconds to load and hoped that a text would pop up on my screen. 

I didn’t have much time to wait and had to shove it back in my pocket to gather my stuff and get off the plane.

“I’ll call you later, okay?” Grace said and gave me a hug. 

She hugged Lisa as well and thanked her for a wonderful vacation before we parted ways and got in our cabs. 

I finally had a moment to check my phone again and the gasp that escaped me made my aunt turn around in the passenger seat to look at me. 

An unread text from Tom. 

_“Hey Maya! I’m sorry it took so long to get back to you, I think I slept for 15 hours lol! Flight? Where do you live?”_

I let out a short laugh at my aunt and nodded to signal that everything was fine. She turned back around to chat with the driver and I bit my lip so hard that I almost drew blood. 

I wanted to answer straight away, but my insides felt like they were trying to dance their way out of my body. 

I just wanted to get home and lie down on my bed to absorb this whole thing in peace. 

~

A few weeks passed and Tom and I had been texting daily. He asked a lot of questions about me and I gladly answered everything he wanted to know. I told him about Grace and that I was living with my aunt. 

My parents divorced when I was a baby and my father moved away for work. My mother wasn’t able to care for me alone and aunt Lisa took over. Lisa loved her sister, but I wasn’t so sure that she was fully prepared for the job of raising me. 

We were basically just coexisting under the same roof at this point. Lisa never harmed me or anything like that, she was simply just a provider. 

I still wondered if Tom was texting several girls at the same time, but I tried to just consider myself one of the lucky few if that was the case. In the beginning I was so starstruck that I spent up to half an hour deciding what to write, but now it felt so natural. We could chat about random things for hours every evening.

I had just sent him a funny meme when I let my breath out and leaned back on my bed. I was listening to their music and let my eyes wander across all the Tokio Hotel posters on my walls. I turned to lie on my stomach and stared at my phone’s background, the picture of Bill and I. 

A voice inside my head whispered a silent wish that I had gotten Bill’s number instead, but I couldn’t ask for such a thing. Could I? 

I heard a knock on my door and grunted a permission to come in.

“Are you gonna lie around here all day or are you going to look for a job?” Lisa asked and I groaned as I turned around to look at her.

“Are you for real?” 

“Yes? You’re an adult now, you can’t freeload around my house for ever you know,” she said and closed the door. 

I grabbed my pillow and pushed it against my face not to scream. I had dropped out of my final year of high school because I didn’t know what I wanted to do next. 

Lisa had been trying to make me stay in school, but we always ended up fighting until she gave up. I always thought I would figure it out along the way, but I still didn’t know what my dream job would be. 

I knew how this was annoying the living shit out of my aunt, who was sure that her time as my caretaker was almost over. I wanted a place of my own, just like Grace had, but I just didn’t have the money. I sure as hell wouldn’t blow my savings on a few months rent and then be left with nothing either. 

Grace worked as a waitress and she always seemed exhausted, with little money left to spare when all her bills were paid. That’s not what I wanted, even if it was surely better than having nothing at all. I felt a lump grow in my stomach - I felt like a spoiled, ungrateful brat. 

The mix of feeling sorry for myself and hating my life choices was interrupted by my phone vibrating next to me. I threw my pillow across the room to read the text,

_“I showed it to Bill and he’s been laughing for 5 minutes lol! Keep ‘em coming! :-* ”_

I re-read the sentence over and over - I made Bill laugh. Oh, how I wanted to hear his laughter for real. The fact that I made Bill laugh was even more exciting to me than the kiss emoji at the end. 

I got up from the bed and sat down at my desk to open my laptop. I had to find out where and when they were playing next. I had to see them again. 

To my great disappointment, they were not playing anywhere near me for the rest of the tour. I leaned forward and rested my head in my hands. How could I ever make Lisa let me travel to another country alone? The task seemed impossible. 

I logged into my bank account and went over the numbers in my head. I could easily afford a trip with my savings, but Lisa would kill me.

I let my arms slide across the desk, pushing the laptop away as my forehead hit the wooden surface. 

As if an invisible force took over my body, I sat back up and pulled the laptop back. I searched for airplane tickets to Germany and started filling in dates and check prices. Lisa said it herself, I was an adult now. I could do whatever the hell I wanted! 

My heart was racing and I rolled my chair over to the bed to grab my phone. I pulled myself back to the desk and took a picture of my laptop screen and sent it to Tom. My stomach was filled with butterflies while waiting for his reaction - would he want to meet me again? 

I kept browsing for tickets and hotels when my phone vibrated again. But it wasn’t a text, it was an incoming call.

Tom was calling me. 

The anxiety rose as I stared at the screen and a cold sweat started to brew. It didn’t feel as natural anymore - I was terrified! We had only ever texted, never actually spoke on the phone. 

I took a deep breath and told myself that it’s not any different. It’s the same guy. Calm down. Just. Fucking. Answer.

I cleared my throat and clicked the green button,

_“H-hello...?”_

_“Maya! Are you coming to Germany?!”_

_“Well, I… I missed your show last time, so I was just looking…”_

_“Yes! You should come to the one in Berlin, it’s the last one before a break and we can hang out for a while!”_

_“R-really?”_

_“Absolutely, that would be awesome!”_

_“Oh, uh, alright then! I’ll see what I can do, text you later, okay?”_

_“Sweet - Oh, Bill says hi!”_

We finished the conversation and as soon as I hung up, the phone fell out of my hand and landed on the floor. I stared at my wall while rubbing my sweaty palms on my thighs.

It felt like someone had put my head on fire and I knew that my face was beet red. My pulse was sky high and I swallowed hard, before getting up from my chair.

I couldn’t contain the excitement anymore and jumped up and down while screaming internally. If I ever had any doubts about the person I had been texting for so long, they were all gone now that I had heard the unmistakable voice of his. 

I danced around my bedroom for a moment before throwing myself back on my chair, slamming my ribs against the desk. I clicked through all my open websites and before I knew it, it was all booked.

I was going to Berlin. 

~

A few days passed and I still hadn’t found the courage to break the news to my aunt. I spent a lot of time outside the house, just to avoid her. Hopefully she thought I was applying for jobs, when in reality, I was shopping for clothes for my trip.

I got myself a brand new leather jacket and some new earrings for my multiple piercings. 

When I came back home, the house was empty. I put on some music and cranked the volume up while practicing the look I was going for at the concert. Black smokey eyes made the perfect contrast to my platinum blonde hair that I puffed up with so much hairspray that I had trouble breathing. 

I had to leave the bathroom to get some air and I was singing loudly. That’s when I almost ran Lisa down. 

“What the fuck are you doing?” she growled while putting the grocery bags on the kitchen counter.

“Preparing for my trip,” I answered. Just rip that bandaid off. 

“Trip? What trip?”

“I’m going to Berlin. In three weeks.”

Now the lump returned to my stomach as I prepared to be yelled at, but to my big surprise - nothing. Lisa sighed loudly and didn’t even care to put the groceries away. She opened the fridge door and grabbed a bottle of wine and went to sit on the couch. 

The silent treatment was scaring the shit out of me and I followed her. 

“You’re… Not mad?” I asked in a weak voice. 

“You’re an adult, do what you want. But if you’re going to act like such an adult, I will start to treat you like an adult. Rent will be due on the tenth,” she said and poured the wine into her glass. 

Great. 

I stomped my way back to my room and slammed the door. The adult in me seemed to fade by the minute. It didn’t matter - I would manage somehow. What would she do? Kick me out?

I called Grace and we agreed that I would come over to her place as soon as she was off work. I packed a small bag and my laptop and snuck out of the house in the evening.

Grace let me in and I sat down on the floor.

“Are you okay? Did you guys fight again?” she asked while getting us a drink. 

I decided that it was time I told her about Tom, for the rest of the story to make sense. I told her how he had given me his phone number and that I had booked my flight to Berlin. 

“No fucking way?!” she exclaimed and clapped her hands. 

“Way…” I answered with a giggle.

The way Grace always seemed so excited for me was making me feel better already. I was supposed to be excited too! This was a big thing for me to do and nothing was going to stop me. Grace raised her glass and my lips stretched into a smile. 

We sat on the floor and chatted with frequent refills of our drinks. We were getting tipsy and Grace decided to pull out some of her blankets to spread across the floor in front of the TV. 

We lay down on the warm blankets and I opened my laptop. I showed her my tickets and she cheered for me. 

“But, Maya… What’s the deal with this Tom dude anyway? I thought you liked the other one,” she chuckled. 

I took a glance at my laptop screen, which also had the picture of Bill and me as the background. 

“I do. I mean… It’s not like I’m marrying Tom just because he gave me his number,” I said with a nervous laugh.

What she said made me think though. Why would Tom give me all this attention in the first place? Why was he so excited to see my ticket? No, I didn’t want to think about that. 

He never even hinted at wanting anything else than just chat. Suddenly I felt insecure and nervous about going to Germany alone. 

I’d had a celebrity crush on Bill since the first time I saw his picture, but I was so overly happy about being able to chat with Tom so much. I could have never imagined something like that happening to me. 

“It’ll be fine!” I exclaimed and dropped that particular subject. 

I grabbed my phone and opened the camera to take a selfie with Grace and our drinks. I showed her the photo and wanted to send it to Tom. 

“Do it!” she said and tugged at my arm until I did.

We were both giggling like the drunk teens we were when my phone lit up. We stared at each other for a moment, both excited about what he would say. 

I opened the text and he had sent a picture in return.

A picture of Bill and himself grinning, holding a backstage pass with my name on it. 

I let out a scream and Grace joined in. She jumped up from the floor and pulled me up with her. She grabbed both my hands and jumped up and down while tears were flowing freely down my cheeks. 

I was so happy that I couldn’t even speak. Grace let go of my hands and ran to get us another drink. I wiped the tears away and took a deep breath. 

This was unreal. It had to be some kind of strange dream, where I was soon to wake up in my bed at Lisa’s house. I realized that I should answer the boys and sat back down just as Grace returned.

“What do I even say?” I squealed at her and took a sip of my drink. 

“Say thank you! And that you’re super excited to meet them both again. Both!” she laughed and poked my arm. 

Clever. Don’t give Tom any ideas. I typed it out and sent the text. 

We finished our drinks while trying to imagine what could happen when I got to Berlin and one story grew wilder than the other until we were both exhausted. 

Grace prepared her spare bed for me and we both went to bed. She had work the day after, but I had no idea what to do. I would have to talk to Lisa at some point - I couldn’t hide here for three weeks. I was trying to come up with some grand idea, but all I could think about was Bill and Tom. 

I opened the text log and saved the picture of the twins holding my backstage pass. 

I placed the phone against the lamp on the nightstand and stared at the picture until I fell asleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading!  
> Feedback is always welcome :)


	3. New Motivation

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Maya gets a motivation boost and counts down the days to her trip to Berlin.

# New Motivation

I woke up the day after when Grace made an awful lot of noise outside the bedroom.

I checked the time on my phone and jumped out of bed. We had slept for so long and she was going to work soon. 

“Fuck, I’m sorry!” I yelled as I burst through the door.

“For what? It’s my own fault, don’t worry,” Grace replied as she grabbed a slice of bread from the kitchen. 

I sat down by the table with her, still wearing my PJs. Most of all, I wanted to ramble on about my upcoming trip, but I knew that even Grace would grow tired of that if I kept going at this rate. I got up to get myself a glass of water when I got an idea. 

“Grace?” I asked as I sat back down with a dead serious look in my eyes.

She stopped chewing when she looked up at me and tilted her head. 

“I was thinking… Maybe your restaurant needs some help?” I said.

“What do you…? Are you asking me for a job right now?” she chuckled.

Grace knew that I had refused several waitressing jobs in the past and my request seemed to surprise her.

I gave her a determined nod and raised my brows waiting for her response.

“I can ask them today. How fun would that be if we could work together?” she beamed.

It would surely help to have her around if I was to take such a shitty job.

For the first time, I felt excited and motivated. If I worked hard, I could pay rent to Lisa while saving for a place of my own. 

I went back home when Grace left for work and went straight to my room. I dropped the bag on the floor and lay down on my bed. I turned my head to look at the framed receipt hanging on the wall next to me.

I closed my eyes for a while and pictured myself stepping out of the plane in Germany for my four days stay. Two weeks and six days left.

I picked my phone up and texted Tom the good news. Well, what I hoped would be good news. Nothing was set in stone, but with my recent luck, I was feeling optimistic. 

The lump in my stomach was gone and I got up from my bed to update Lisa. 

She was sitting on the couch watching TV with her wine in her hand.

“Lisa, I may get a job soon,” I started and sat down next to her. 

“Really, where?” 

“At the Black Pearl, with Grace,” I answered with a grin. 

“I thought you never wanted to be a waitress.”

“I’ve changed my mind. You’ll get your rent and I’m going on my trip,” I said with a confirming nod.

I wasn’t expecting her to jump for joy, but her lack of encouragement hurt me a little. She kept staring at the TV and I got back up and went to my room. What a bitch. 

I plopped myself back down on the bed and checked my phone. I had a missed call, from an unsaved number.

It started with the German country code so I assumed Tom had been trying to reach me. I started typing a text to the number, but didn’t have the patience to wait.

The butterflies woke up in my stomach again. I still wasn’t too comfortable talking with him on the phone, but I pressed the call button anyway.

I closed my eyes and focused on my breathing as I waited for Tom to pick up, but to my unexpected surprise - his brother answered.

_“Hello, Maya! It’s Bill!”_

My hands started shaking and my mouth fell open. I raised my free hand to close my own mouth and my brain short-circuited.

_“Hello? Maya, are you there?”_

_“Shit, sorry. I mean, yes. Yes, I am.”_

_“Great! Hi! I prefer talking over texting and I stole your number from Tom.”_

_“Did you now?”_

I laughed at his cheerful voice and soft giggles and I felt the nervousness ease by the second.

He told me how he had asked Tom to get my number for days and that he had managed to convince him to hand it over that evening. I felt my cheeks blush while I fiddled with a loose thread on my sock as I sat in the middle of my bed chatting with Bill.

It felt good to thank him personally for getting me that backstage pass and that I was so excited to see him again. He told me that they wanted to do that for me as a consolation for not being able to attend the show in Spain and I could barely believe it. 

We finished chatting and hung up and I fell backwards onto my pillow. My heart was pounding inside my chest and I pinched my own arm. As a result, I burst out laughing because I was still awake. 

I turned my head to the side to look at one of my posters, of Bill glaring back at me with those flirtatious eyes of his.

I couldn’t stop thinking about the whole situation and how I now had both the twins’ personal phone numbers. I should have gotten a lottery ticket on the way home.

My body felt like jelly and I had to roll myself off of the bed to go get ready to sleep. 

I leaned on the bathroom sink and stared into my own blue eyes in the mirror while brushing my teeth. 

When I was back in my bed, I checked my phone one last time. It was past midnight already and I still hadn’t heard from Grace. She was probably too tired from work or didn’t get to ask about a job for me yet. I would call her the day after and started scrolling through my saved pictures.

I wanted to send something to Bill before I went to sleep and settled on a funny dog squinting his eyes saying, _‘when you try to check your phone at night’._

I giggled and turned off the light only to have my phone light up a few seconds later.

_“Hahaha, that was totally me right now! Good night and sweet dreams :)”_

A shiver went through my body and my face felt warm once again. I put my phone away and closed my eyes, only to fantasize about meeting the twins again. 

Two weeks and five days left. 

~

A few days later I was standing outside the Black Pearl waiting for Grace. She had put in a good word for me and I was about to have my first trial day as a waitress. I was nervous, but then again - how hard could it be to carry a plate to a table?

“Are you ready? It’s Thursday so it could go either way really,” Grace said as she walked up next to me. 

I gave her a nod and mentally prayed for a slow day. I had been at the Pearl several times and knew the place well, hoping I could use that to my advantage. 

I was handed my uniform, which basically just was a different t-shirt, and went to the staff room to change. I checked my phone one last time before having to put my belongings away in Grace’s locker.

_“Good luck tonight!”_

I couldn’t believe that Bill remembered my first day. It filled me with such confidence that I felt I could handle whatever my little town would throw at me this evening. 

I puffed my chest and went back to Grace and the manager for my training. 

“Oh my god, you did so well! I will be surprised if you won’t get a job here!” Grace cheered when the two of us met up in the staff room. 

The place had been packed for the last few hours and I was exhausted, but pleased with my own effort. I wiped my forehead off with my t-shirt and changed into my personal clothes.

“You really think so? I hope I will!” I answered her and folded my hands in front of my chest.

We waved the manager goodbye and started to walk home. I longed for a shower and my soft bed and I could truly understand how Grace was always so tired. It felt good though, as if I made a difference to someone for once. 

We hugged each other good night and I crossed the street to Lisa’s house. Lisa had already gone to bed and tried my best not to wake her up while taking my shower. My feet were throbbing and I let out a long sigh when my head hit the pillow.

I wanted to text Bill, but I didn’t want to seem naggy so I chose not to.

Two weeks from now, I would be in my hotel room in Berlin.

~

I woke up the following morning by my phone ringing. It was Grace and I answered immediately.

She was squealing into my ear and I struggled to understand what she was saying.

_“Slow down! What are you even saying?”_

_“You got the job! You got the job, Maya!”_

_“You’re shitting me?!”_

_“Fuck no! You got it! And I even made sure to cover your Berlin weekend shifts!”_

I felt my eyes tear up, I didn’t deserve such an amazing friend. Grace had been at work early for a meeting and convinced the manager to let her deliver the good news herself. 

I thanked her from the bottom of my heart and hung up the phone. I lay back down and noticed I had an unread text as well - from Bill,

_“How did it go? You didn’t text me!”_

I laughed and texted him back, telling him everything.

I was smiling so much that my cheeks hurt and it felt like all the pieces of the puzzle that was my life fell into place.

The Black Pearl had already covered this weekend’s shifts and I was starting on Monday - I wanted to celebrate. 

“Lisa! I got the job!” I screamed as I ran out of my bedroom. 

“Congrats!” I heard her yell back from the kitchen. 

Her voice had a hint of happiness and that was good enough for me. I smiled proudly to myself and went to get dressed. My concert ticket had arrived at the post office and I wanted to secure it in my wallet as soon as humanly possible. 

“I’m going out, you need anything?” I asked as I pulled my studded leather boots on. 

“Bring some beers and we’ll order a pizza later!” 

Awesome. 

I hurried to the post office first and carefully put the ticket in my handbag. It was currently the most important item I had ever owned.

The sun was shining and I finished my shopping before practically running back home. Maybe this once, I would drink some beers with my aunt and just let go of everything and enjoy how well things were going. 

Lisa was standing outside the door, smoking, when I came back. I ran inside to put the beers in the fridge and joined her for a smoke. 

She was somehow more easy to be around when I knew she had nothing to complain to me about. 

After a surprisingly pleasant chat, I pulled my suitcase out of the closet and started planning what to bring to Berlin. I wanted to look my best and went through my entire wardrobe to find my best outfits. 

I picked out some black jeans, a red dress and a pile of tank tops and t-shirts to choose from. 

I carefully put my chain bracelets and necklaces into a box and stepped back to review my choices. A wave of excitement washed over me and I giggled loudly. The hours flew by during my trial day at the restaurant and I hoped the next two weeks would pass just as quickly. 

I sat down on my bed and took a picture of the suitcase already half packed on my floor. 

I sent it to Grace, Tom and Bill and lay down on my back. 

“What do you want on the pizza?” Lisa called from the living room.

“Anything but mushrooms!” I yelled back and got on my feet. 

I joined Lisa by the TV and we spent the evening together, drinking beers and enjoying our food together. It had been a long time since I actually had fun in her company. 

~

It was Sunday evening and I was sitting on my bed, reading a book. I re-read the same sentence over and over, unable to concentrate.

I had my first real shift at the restaurant the following day and I was feeling a little nervous. Grace wouldn’t be there as I had the lunch shift and she had the evening shift. 

I closed my book with a sigh when I heard my phone ring. I grabbed it from the nightstand and saw Bill’s name on the screen.

I sat up straight when the butterflies started dancing in my stomach again. After our first call, I was more excited than nervous when I picked up. 

Bill was talking in a loud voice and sounded like he had been drinking. He was rambling on about the concert they had just played when I heard Tom shout in the background. 

He wanted to talk to me too and I couldn't stop giggling.

_“Maya, the Swedish princess!”_

_“Wow, aren’t you a charmer tonight?”_

_“I miss talking to you! Just a little more than a week now and you’ll…”_

Tom’s voice was replaced by some loud shuffling noises and I pulled the phone away from my ear until it stopped.

_“He’s so drunk, I’m sorry,”_ Bill laughed and I said it was okay. 

I heard lots of people call Bill’s name in the background and I told him we’d better hang up. He agreed and as soon as his voice disappeared, I sank down in my bed again. 

The twins were probably surrounded by tons of people and they were still thinking about me…

I bit my lip and pulled my phone back up.  
I texted Bill,

_“Thank you for calling me, I missed your voice. I hope you’ll enjoy the rest of your evening. <3”_

I hit send and dropped my phone next to my pillow as I covered my face with my hands. I wasn’t nearly as drunk as they were, but the beers I had with Lisa certainly made me braver than usual. 

When my phone vibrated next to my head, I felt my pulse go up. Was it too weird? Did I go too far? 

I waited for a minute before picking it up to check and it was from Bill. No words, just a heart.

A heart. 

I clenched my eyes shut and bit my tongue. With shaking hands, I double checked my alarm and put the phone away before pulling the blanket over my body. 

One week and four days left. 

~

My first few shifts were pretty calm and I was trained to handle the bar as well as serving food. If I practiced some more, I would be able to work more evening shifts with Grace and I really wanted that. 

I was even getting some tips as well and all the extra cash went into my Berlin jar at home each night. 

I had the Friday off and was relaxing on my bed while texting with Tom in the evening. He had told me that Bill was visiting their mother and he was home alone.

He kept adding kissing emojis to the texts and as exciting as it was, something inside me told me not to get too hung up on it. I sent kissing emojis to my friends as well, it was completely normal, wasn’t it? 

Still, it felt completely different when Bill sent me the heart. I couldn’t shake that one off as easily… A mix of emotions brewed inside me, but I tried to ignore them.

I told Tom good night as I needed some well deserved sleep on my day off. 

Six more days to go...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading!   
> Stay tuned for Maya's arrival in Berlin.


	4. Berlin, Baby

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Maya arrives in Berlin and the surprises keep coming!

# Berlin, Baby

I opened the front door to the house with a groan after my final shift before leaving the country. It was a warm Wednesday afternoon and Lisa was smoking under the stove fan in the kitchen. 

“Ready for your trip?” she asked.

“Almost!” I replied and felt my mood improve considerably. 

Work had been a nightmare and I was exhausted, but knowing that I was leaving the next day made me fight through it like a champion. I really wanted to pack the rest of my stuff, but my feet simply wouldn’t allow me to stand up for one more minute. 

I threw myself down on my bed and stared at my suitcase for a while. As always when I was too lazy to do anything, I picked up my phone. I started typing,

_“Unable to find the strength to finish packing… I’m too excited!”_

I sent it to Bill and exhaled loudly. The tingly feeling in my gut was overwhelming my every emotion and I had to get up and do something. I went through my suitcase one more time to make sure I had all my outfits ready and threw another blouse in there just in case. I had lined up my important papers on my desk - passport, plane ticket, concert ticket, hotel information.

I was travelling alone for the very first time and I had to make sure everything was perfect. I heard my phone buzz on the bed and dropped down on my belly to check it. Even if I knew it was from Bill, it was still making my heart flutter whenever I saw his name on my screen.   
He had sent a picture of himself grinning and Tom playing guitar in the background, with the text,

_“I believe in you! I’ll call you later, okay?”_

We had been talking on the phone every evening before bedtime the past few days and I was still as thrilled as ever to read those words. I replied that I was looking forward to it and his beautiful face had given me the boost I needed to finish up.

I folded my travel outfit and placed it neatly on the dresser in the bathroom and just as the sun started to set, I had prepared everything except my makeup and toothbrush.   
Perfect. 

I lay down on the bed in my PJs with my phone in my hand. This was about the time Bill usually called me. This evening was no exception and I answered the call the very same second it started to ring.

_“Am I late?”_ Bill laughed.

_“No! No, I was just-”_

_“You’re so cute…”_

His words made my heart skip a beat and I had to regain my voice before I could keep talking. We chatted about our day and I told him how nervous I was about the flight. He kept reassuring me that everything would be fine and, miraculously enough, it soothed me a great deal. He finished our conversation by telling me to keep my eyes open when I arrived at the airport in Berlin. 

It sparked my curiosity to unbearable levels and I couldn’t stop thinking about it. What did he mean? If I wasn’t nervous enough already, I sure as hell was now. I just lay there, biting on the nail of my thumb for what felt like hours. 

~

When I woke up the morning after, I almost fell out of the bed. I was frantically slamming my hand on the nightstand to locate my phone and to my great relief, my alarm hadn’t gone off yet. I let out a sigh of relief and ran to the bathroom to get started on my makeup. 

The flight was only four hours long so I didn’t pick the earliest one and I still had plenty of time. I plugged my phone in the charger to make sure I had enough power to be able to listen to music on the plane. 

“Maya, are you up?” I heard from the kitchen.

“Yeah!” I yelled back and was overly surprised that Lisa even asked me that. 

Even if I had tried to not be too annoying about it, she knew very well how excited I was for this day. I finished up my morning routine and shoved my final items in my suitcase and zipped it up. I rolled it into the living room and smelled that Lisa was…cooking?

“I made you some toast so you don’t have to buy anything at the airport, it’s so expensive,” she said and put a plate down on the table. 

I just stared at her in shock. What was going on? Why was she suddenly so nice to me? I sat down and took a bite. My appetite usually wasn’t at its most active in the morning unless it was some kind of hot meal, but I knew I had to eat something. 

I thanked her and she joined me for a smoke outside before I grabbed my suitcase and headed for the bus that would take me to the airport. I went through my handbag a hundred times to make sure my passport and tickets were still in there. 

I checked in my suitcase and made my way through security and when I laid eyes on my plane through the window, the anxiety skyrocketed. I closed my eyes and turned the volume of my music up, trying to focus on something else while waiting to board. I remembered how Bill had made me feel better the night before and tried to remember his words to calm myself down. 

It worked and when I looked up at the information board above my gate, I saw that it was almost time to board. I kept telling myself that I had been on a plane just a few weeks ago and I was still alive. I had to get through this to get my reward at the end of the journey. And that reward was worth risking my life for in a metal tube defying gravity. 

After an amazingly smooth flight, I exited the plane and stepped into the tunnel connecting the plane to the building. The airport in Berlin was massive compared to the one back home and I was feeling lost already. Then I remembered what Bill had told me - to keep my eyes open. I stopped for a moment to scan my surroundings, but nothing caught my attention.

I headed toward the baggage reclaim area and waited for my suitcase to appear on the conveyor belt. I had tied a purple ribbon on its handle to recognize it easier and I sure was happy when it showed up. I turned around to find the exit when I saw it - a man in a fancy uniform holding a sign with my name on it.

My eyes grew wide and I slowly approached him.

“Miss Maya Blom?” he asked and I hesitantly gave him a slow nod. 

“Follow me, please,” he replied and waved me over.

I followed the man outside and he grabbed my suitcase before hauling it into the trunk of a car. He explained to me that ‘someone’ had arranged for the driver to take me to my hotel. My voice had stopped working long ago and he opened the door to the backseat of the car for me to get in. 

The driver was silent the whole ride to the hotel and a new man waited for us by the front door. He opened the trunk and I watched the driver’s eyes in the rear view mirror as he followed the movements of my suitcase.

“T-thank you,” I said and he gave me a short nod before my door opened. 

I stepped out of the car and brought my suitcase to the front desk to check in. The lady at the counter greeted me with a big smile and had already put the room key in front of me. I hadn’t even said my name yet and was growing more confused by the minute.

“Miss Blom, your room has been upgraded. You’ll be on the top floor, to the right,” she instructed me. 

I pulled my wallet out from my handbag, but she stopped me before I could give her my card. 

“It’s all been taken care of, enjoy your stay!” she said with a wink.

I thanked her with my voice being a mere whisper. I slowly grabbed the key and headed for the elevator. I stared at the other guests through the glass wall as I was going all the way to the top floor. When I reached my floor I took a glance at the number on my key and turned to the right to find my room. 

I slipped the keycard in the scanner on the door and the light turned green. I pushed the door open and my jaw dropped. Hotel rooms happened to be upgraded or downgraded at random when hotels were overbooked, but that couldn’t be the case this time. This was a fucking suite.

I was about to turn around and go back down to tell them there must have been a mistake when my phone vibrated in my pocket. I pulled it up and opened the incoming text.

_“Are you there yet? How do you like it? ;) “_

It was from Tom and I could just imagine the twins waiting in anticipation for my reaction. I was speechless. I took a step further into the massive room and tried to take it all in when I saw a bouquet of flowers with an envelope next to it. I picked it up and read my name on it. These boys couldn’t be for real. 

I opened it and pulled out a note,

_“Welcome to Berlin! We hope you will enjoy your stay. Dress nicely and go to the front desk at 7.30 pm.  
Xoxo, Bill & Tom.”_

I felt like I couldn’t breathe and checked the time on my phone - I had two hours to get ready, for whatever was waiting that evening. I stared at the note for a moment when I noticed there was something else inside the envelope. The backstage pass.

It was signed by all four members of the band and was attached to a lanyard with the Tokio Hotel logo printed all over it. I let it slide through my fingers and I stared at it dangling in front of me. This wasn’t real. There was no way. 

“Shit!” I hissed. I had to answer the boys. 

What would I even say? I sat down on the couch next to the table with the flowers and took a picture of my suitcase standing in the middle of the room. 

_“I just arrived and oh my god, you guys. I don’t know what to say! This is too much! :’) <3 Thank you, thank you, thank you!”_

I hit send and my head fell forward, all the way to my knees. I clenched my eyes shut, trying to understand why they were pampering me this way. 

I decided to try to concentrate on enjoying this amazing experience for all that it was worth and stepped into the bathroom. It was even larger than the one at Lisa’s house and I gasped at the sight. I took the best shower I had ever had and put on the ridiculously soft bathrobe hanging on the door. I felt like a queen! 

I took a spin in front of the mirror in the living area before opening my suitcase. I was running out of time and had to get my makeup done. 

When I was all done with my face and my hair I had to decide on an outfit. ‘Dress nicely.’  
How nice? I only brought the one dress and I was planning on saving that one.   
I remembered the blouse I had picked out and put it on along with some black jeans. It looked formal enough without being too over the top. 

I posed in front of the mirror one more time and gave myself an approving nod. It was time to go. 

I checked the time while standing in the elevator, five minutes left. I was always at least a few minutes early whenever I had an appointment - a trait that gave me enough time to torture myself for a little longer this fine evening. I had no idea what was waiting and the suspense was killing me. 

I pushed a strand of my hair away from my eyes and fanned my face with my hand before stepping out of the elevator. The reception was buzzing with activity and I didn’t even know what to look for. I didn’t have to wait for long before a man walked up to me and said my name. Again, I was guided to a car on the outside and the man opened the door for me to get in.

I smiled at him and gave him a nod before turning around to get in the car.

“Hello!” the twins cheered and I let out a shriek.

Bill grabbed my wrist and pulled me down to my seat - I was paralyzed. The man closed the door and got into the driver’s seat. My heart was beating so hard that I was sure they could all hear it.

The boys were laughing loudly and they looked so joyful - then there was me, covering my mouth with my palm again. Bill put his hand on my shoulder and I was just about ready to faint.

“We’re going to an italian restaurant not too far from here…” he said.

My eyes grew wide and I barely dared to look at them. I was now fully convinced that I was dreaming, until I felt a poke on my knee. I whipped my head to the side and Tom was waving his hand in front of my face.

“Earth calls, Maya! Are you okay?” he asked.

I let out a nervous laugh and nodded.

“I am more than okay. You have done way too much…” I said and fought the lump forming in my throat. 

Tom smirked and I could see his eyes move down to linger on my blouse. I felt my cheeks flush and Bill’s voice made me shift my gaze to him instead. 

“It’s not too much at all! We were going out to eat anyway, we didn’t want to leave you alone in your room,” he grinned and patted my arm.

It had felt so natural to talk to Bill on the phone over the past week, but sitting there next to him was intimidating on a whole new level. The car took a turn and I felt Bill’s thigh pushing a little harder against mine. I gulped and had to clench my jaws not to make a noise as a result of the intense tingly feeling filling my gut. 

I felt so awkward and I just wanted us to get to the restaurant already. I badly needed a drink before I made the twins regret everything they had done. My prayers were answered and the car stopped. The driver got out and opened the door on my side and the three of us got out. I noticed that the twins were well over twenty centimetres taller than me, Bill being the tallest one. 

I was starting to assume that the driver worked for the boys personally when he locked the car and guided us inside. 

We were met by a waiter who sat us down at a table in a small private area in the back of the restaurant. I forgot for a moment that they were still celebrities and had to be looked after whenever they were in public. Everything was still calm though and the driver, now bodyguard, was staying far away enough to give us some privacy. 

“Congratulations on surviving your flight,” Bill started with a chuckle.

“Oh, thank you!” I laughed.

Sitting a little further apart than in the car made it easier for me to relax a little bit more. Bill was being chatty as always and his brother made fun of his English accent, even if his own was no better. I felt more at ease and laughed with them as conversation flowed between us.

Our food was served and we all had a drink. None of us wanted to drink too much as we had a concert to get through the following day.

“I’m so excited for tomorrow you guys!” I exclaimed with a big grin.

“So are we! And you’ll get to meet Gustav and Georg too,” Bill replied.

That was true, I had almost forgotten about the rest of the band. It would be awesome to meet them all, even if I never wanted to take my eyes off of Bill. I didn’t tell them that of course.

“Oh, you have to meet us there early. We’ll make sure you get a good spot for the show,” Tom said.

Those were wonderful news as I had no intention of staying in the back of a massive crowd. I wasn’t going to miss a single second of this show and I didn’t even have to queue all day to get it my way! 

We finished our meal and sat chatting for a while longer until the guard discreetly pointed at his watch. Bill noticed and the disappointed look on his face broke my heart a little. I felt the same though, I didn’t want to leave already. I had to remind myself that I had just arrived and that I would spend many hours in their presence the next day to cheer myself up. 

We got up from our table and Tom paid for all of us. I tried to give him some cash to cover my part, but he refused to take it. I had been saving all my tips and I hadn’t spent a single cent yet.

The four of us got back in the car and this time Tom was sitting in the middle of the backseat. I caught myself being dissatisfied with the seating arrangements, but I really shouldn’t be complaining. Tom smelled great and I tried to focus on that, but I discreetly let my eyes wander to Bill’s hands putting his seatbelt on. 

“Thank you guys so much for this evening, I will never forget this!” I beamed when the car pulled up outside my hotel. 

I unbuckled my belt and looked at the boys when Tom wrapped his arms around my neck. I froze for a second, but returned the hug with a giggle. Bill was shifting in his seat, waiting for his turn. As soon as Tom let go of me, Bill leaned over his brother’s lap and hugged me as well. I wished Tom wasn’t sitting between us, but I hugged Bill back to the best of my ability in that awkward position. I would try to get a better hug next time. 

I watched the car drive off before entering the hotel and making my way to my room. As soon as the door closed behind me, I dropped my jacket to the floor and threw myself down on the king size bed. All my emotions came out at once and I burst out crying. 

It was a solid mix of happy, excited, frustrated and confused tears and my weird sobs transformed into laughter. If anyone heard me from the room next to mine, they would think I had gone mad. 

I had to call Grace and tell her about my evening and pulled the phone out of my pocket as I turned to lie on my back. I had a text from Tom already, 

_“Hot ;) “_

I dropped the phone to my chest with a shocked scoff. I slowly picked it back up and sent a blushing emoji back at him - I could say the same back, but I didn’t want to encourage him. This was the most straight forward he had ever been and I was honestly a little uncomfortable with it. 

I called Grace, as I had planned to, and we talked until I had to go to sleep. I had a long day ahead of me and I wanted to be well rested.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading! I've posted a few extra chapters this week, but I will go try to go back back to my Tuesday schedule from now on :)


	5. Ready, Set, Go

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Maya and the boys are preparing for the concert!

# Ready, Set, Go

I woke up all tangled up in both my covers when my alarm went off. I usually needed to snooze a couple of times before getting up, but the past couple of days had been different. I shot out of bed and turned the alarm off with an excited squeal. I stretched my arm as far above my head as I could and brought my phone and its charger to the bathroom.

I turned on some music and sang loudly while taking a shower and getting ready. I wanted to wear my red dress, but I was thinking that it wasn’t the best outfit choice to wear to the concert. 

After tapping a finger on my chin for a moment, I decided to wear the dress first and bring a set of change for the show. 

I finished my smokey eyes makeup and ruffled my hair up before covering it in hairspray, hoping it would last the entire day. I put my eyeshadow and spare eyeliner in my bag to be able to refresh it before the concert started and made sure my phone was fully charged. When my backstage pass and extra set of clothes were packed as well, I hauled the bag over my shoulder and left my room. 

I was spoiled by the twins already and felt a slight panic when there was no driver waiting for me this time around. I scoffed at myself and went outside to get a hold of a cab instead. 

They were lined up outside the hotel and I was soon on my way to the venue. I pulled my phone out of my pocket and texted Bill,

 _“I’m almost there! See you soon <3”_

I hit send so fast that I realized I should possibly have dropped the heart at the end, but it was too late to change that now. I kept my phone in my hand, waiting for a reply, but nothing happened. 

The cab stopped outside the venue and I could finally pay something out of my own pocket. I left the car and headed for what looked like the right entrance. Before I reached the door, it opened and Bill came running to meet me. 

My face broke into the happiest smile and he wrapped his arms around me. The hug I had longed for since the day before was even better than I could have ever imagined. I inhaled his sweet scent and never wanted to let go, but his arms loosened their grip around me way too soon.

“You look amazing!” he beamed and eyed me from top to toe.

My cheeks instantly blushed and I told him the same in return. He looked gorgeous as always in dark blue jeans, a black t-shirt and his fluffy hair and dark makeup. He grabbed my hand and guided me through the hallways of the venue until we reached the backstage area. I felt a little nervous about meeting them all and wondered for a moment if they had more fans in there. 

I was shamelessly staring at Bill while he opened the door and Tom turned around to greet us. I registered his presence, but I was still staring at Bill like hypnotized the entire time. Tom poked my arm and I turned my head around, like I was released from a trance.

"What? Oh, hey, are you ready for tonight?" I asked.

Tom just looked at me and his eyes were not on my face. My dress was quite short and it was no secret that Tom loved a girl showing off her legs.

"Hello, are you ready, Tom?" I tried to get his attention again.

"Ready for what...?" His flirtatious tone made me scoff and roll my eyes.

"Oh, come on, you freak," Bill laughed and smacked Tom’s arm.

I laughed at them both and dropped my bag next to the closest couch. Bill introduced me to Georg and Gustav and I shook both their hands and felt like the luckiest girl on the planet, as there was no one else there. My early suspicions about Tom handing out his number at random was fading away at record speed. 

After showing me the backstage room and getting me a soda, the twins decided to take me to the stage area and it felt so huge! I had been to several concerts in my life, but then filled to the brim with screaming fans. This time, we were all alone in there and I loved it.

Bill climbed down from the stage and was running around the floor, dancing and singing and I couldn't stop laughing at him. He was too cute.

We returned to the backstage room for the band to prepare their instruments and Bill had to start warmups soon. 

I sat down on the couch with Gustav and we chatted for a while until Tom got his white Flying V guitar and sat down to tune it. I knew that guitar. It was the one he used during a certain song. All the fangirls knew that one.

I excused myself to Gustav and sat down next to Tom and watched him play for a bit.

"Hi there,” he said with a smirk.

“Hello, friend,” I replied and instantly regretted it. Awkward.

“Ah, by the way - you have access with your pass to stand in front of the barrier with the guards. There you can see the show and also have the chance to get backstage easily if you should need that," he said while climpring at the guitar.

"Oh, that's great. Sweet, I can't wait! Thank you," I smiled at him and got back up to find Bill. 

He was in the wardrobe, walking in circles.

"La la la la LA la LA la laaa..." After the surgery he did to remove a cyst from his vocal chord, he had to be careful and warm up properly before going on stage.

"Hey there! Having fun?" I asked and he jumped.

“God, you scared me!" he laughed and came over to give me another hug.

"This will be so much fun, I'm so excited!" I squealed while hugging him back.

“Yay! Oh, we’re doing the soundcheck in a minute, want to come see it? You’ll be our judge,” he winked and I clapped my hands, saying I would love to come.

I hurried back to the floor so I could see the stage from the audience's view. Gustav was already up there, adjusting the cymbals and Georg came walking in with his black and white bass. I felt the butterflies in my stomach already and this was just the soundcheck!

The twins came on stage and Bill was talking in the mic for the techs to adjust the volume.  
They continued by playing Monsoon and Sacred - I was singing along and gave them my loudest applause when the last note faded out.

We all went backstage again and they were all very excited about this gig. There was a big table there, now filled with fruits and the boys decided to have some fun with that. Tom started throwing grapes at Bill and Bill transformed into a hyperactive monster and attacked his brother. He jumped on Tom’s back and slapped his face.

They were so childish and I loved watching them. Bill got off his brother’s back and sat down on the closest chair, holding his stomach and laughed until his tears were flowing freely. I laughed as well, just watching those boys. I sat down on the couch next to Georg, as Gustav had gone missing - I had no idea where he was at all. 

I was about to open my mouth to ask Georg something when another grape came flying through the room and hit his chest.

I broke down laughing and Georg threw the little fucker, as he called it, back at Tom. Tom just looked at him with a surprised face and came running towards us.

I screamed for help, but it was too late - Tom dragged me on my feet and pushed me down on a nearby chair. 

He told me to close my eyes and took a few steps backwards. I did as he told me and waited for further instructions. I had no idea what to expect and felt a little nervous, being the center of attention all of a sudden.

"Ok, now... Open your mouth!"

I opened up, still keeping my eyes closed. He threw another grape and tried to hit my mouth, but he missed.

"Oh my god! Try again, sucker," I yelled and laughed at his focused face.

This time I kept my eyes open and he threw another one. I moved my head slightly to the side and caught the grape mid air.

"Ha! Congrats! Now it's my turn!" I said and jumped off my chair to grab some grapes to throw at Tom. 

The boys had a strange ability to make me feel like I was an equal part of the group, and it made me feel more relaxed.

I managed to hit Tom’s mouth a few times, but also threw some of the grapes at his hair and chest on purpose to tease him.

After my third throw he got off the chair, stole the rest of my grapes and ate them all.  
He was two inches from my face and laughed with his mouth full of half-chewed grapes.

"Eew, go away you pig," I pushed him away and ran to Bill's chair to hide.

Bill protected me and yelled a bunch of swear words at Tom and told him to swallow the disgusting mess. Georg told us all to calm down and suggested we should play and sing for a bit. We had been playing and fooling around for a long time now and it was only two hours left until the show started.

Tom got his Gibson and sat down. I wanted to change and brought my bag to the wardrobe to change into my jeans and t-shirt for the night. I opened the door and ran straight into Gustav.

"Where have you been? You missed out on so much fun in there," I giggled and was amazed at how easy it felt to just talk to him.

"Oh, I've just been outside. I just like to be alone before a gig. I gotta go tape my fingers now, see ya soon," he said and looked pretty stressed out.

I changed my clothes and went back to the guys with my backstage pass around my neck - Tom was playing and Bill was singing. I loved this song and knew all the lyrics, of course, so I joined Bill as I slowly walked towards them,

_“Through the monsoon, beyond the world, to the end of time, where the rain won’t hurt..."_

We applauded each other and the boys got on their feet. We could hear the fans now! The doors to the arena were open and they were screaming and running to get to the front row.

"Wow, this is crazy!" I was impressed.

Tom sat back down and made a frustrated squeak.

"What the hell was that?" I laughed out loud again.

"He's just nervous," Bill chuckled - he had obviously heard that sound before.

I went over to pat Tom’s back and told him it would be okay, as if he’d never done this before.

"Aaah, okay boss..." he sighed and got back on his feet, laughing.

Gustav entered the room wearing his shorts and t-shirt as always, holding all their earpieces,  
"Come on, let's get ready to rock!”

I told the boys good luck and gave them all a hug before heading down towards the almost full arena.

The fangirls were going wild, screaming and jumping, singing and waving their posters already. I entered the floor from the left side of the stage and showed the guard my pass and they let me in. Some of the girls were screaming when they saw me being allowed in front of the barrier, but I tried to ignore them and headed toward the middle section. 

That’s when I saw someone familiar. She was closer to the right side of the stage - on Georg’s side of course.  
I knew I had seen her before, but it took me a moment to connect the face to her name. I ran over to her and screamed in excitement.

"Hey, Emma, it's me, Maya!" I was so happy to see her! We had chatted for some time over the internet and we both shared the passion for mostly the same bands, including Tokio Hotel.

"Oh my god!" she squealed and gave me the biggest smile and I gave her a big hug over the barrier.

"Why are you on that side of the barrier?!" Now she looked shocked and I told her I was with the band.

She just looked at me with her mouth hanging open. I suddenly got a great idea and told her to wait for me for a few minutes. I hurried backstage to reach the boys in time.

"Hey! I met a girl I know in the audience, may I take her with me backstage when you're done?" I was jumping up and down, really wanting to do this for her as she loved the band - especially Georg. I knew it may be too much to ask, but it was worth a shot. 

"Sure! Just tell the guards that she's with you when it’s over and it should be no problem!" Bill smiled while getting his final touch up done before going on stage.

"Yes, thank you! I'll go back down and tell her, thank you so much!" I ran out the door and blew a kiss to them all.

I ran as fast as I could back to Emma and grabbed her hand.

"I have a surprise for you! When the show is over, please wait here and don't leave ok?"

"Oh, okay..." she agreed and gave me a curious look, but I had not planned to tell her just yet.

Then I heard it... The sound of drums. The footsteps, the door opening. The crowd was screaming and so was I!

 _"Wilkommen im Tokio Hotel..."_ The deep, male voice sounded through the venue... _"Zimmer 483..."_  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for reading - New chapter next Tuesday!


	6. Showtime

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Maya and her friend get a concert experience they will never forget.

# Showtime

I looked at Emma and screamed from the top of my lungs. I had goosebumps all over my body, and then I saw Tom behind the smoke, playing the first chords. Gustav started beating the drums and the crowd went wild. Bill came running on stage and delivered his most flirtatious look to the roaring crowd. 

They were all screaming loudly behind me and I could really understand why.

The boys were awesome - Bill was running back and forth and seemed really happy to be back on stage, where he belonged. Both Emma and I sang along, every line in perfect German. 

I moved to the left side for a while - standing in front of Tom, singing every line straight to him while dancing. The crowd sang along with me and I had never felt better.

The hairs on my arms stood up the second Bill told us the next song. Since we were in Germany, he spoke to the audience in German. I didn’t understand it, but I knew the titles of their songs. 

He was standing in the middle of the stage, with the wind in his hair, and did a great performance of one of their best songs. I had tears in my eyes when I sang along with his last line,

_"And if all that can't hold you back, I'll jump for you..."_

Next up was Final Day and the boys were on fire up there. I had the best time of my life, finally seeing my favorite band again.

"Stop. Stop for a sec..." Bill suddenly said, and the band stopped playing.

My heart skipped a beat, was something wrong? 

"I really want someone to join me on stage tonight... Come on, Maya. This is your night,” Bill spoke clearly into the mic while he looked at me.

I gulped and felt all the nerves in my body going haywire. One of the guards helped me reach the stage floor and Bill grabbed my hand to pull me up. I was freaking out and I could barely keep myself standing. 

Bill yelled at Gustav to start playing again and Bill started singing. His energy rubbed off on me and when he moved the mic over to me, I sang the German lyrics perfectly and I was absolutely ecstatic. We jumped around on stage together and finished the song in perfect harmony.

Bill gave me a wink, knowing he really made this the best night of my life right there. I ran backstage to get some water and sat down on the edge of the couch, panting. I was shaking. I heard the guitar intro of the next song and ran back down to the crowd as fast as my feet would carry me.

I had to see this - Tom was always so funny during this song. He freaked out when he heard his own voice and I loved watching his face when he had to sing backing vocals.

I was staring at Tom the whole time just to embarrass him even more. He had teased me all day long, it was time for payback.

After that, Bill started talking again and I watched the entire crowd go silent, paying their undivided attention to him and him alone. 

_"Monsoon.”_

The title alone gave me goosebumps. I sang along with all my heart. This was the song I knew the best. Could sing it both in English and German, maybe even backwards if I ever tried. 

I went back to Emma and we held hands while singing. It was just great, the crowd loved what they were seeing as always. When they finished a few more songs, Gustav kept drumming. A nice, steady beat and Bill got the megaphone out.

He screamed something to the audience and the roar that followed was deafening. Then he pressed the button on the megaphone, making the alarm go off - I screamed so loudly I was sure my voice would be broken when I got back to the hotel.

I sang and jumped like crazy and was absolutely exhausted when the song finished.

Then the stage was filled with smoke again... Then the sound of a loud bell filled the arena, I felt it down my spine. It sounded like wind? Yes, a breeze... Then I saw Tom enveloped in the smoke once more. 

He started playing and Bill was back in sight shortly after. Forgotten Children - that song always made me cry, it's so sad and beautiful. I couldn't even sing along and by the time they were done I bet I had black makeup running down my face yet again.

I quickly swept it away when I saw Tom come back on stage for the next song, carrying the Flying V guitar. Bill had been splashing some water around and did his ‘Who's louder?’ game while waiting for the others to change their instruments.

Emma and I were screaming as loudly as we could. Bill was running towards the drums and Tom started playing Live Every Second. If I hadn't screamed my lungs out already, I sure did now. 

Bill stopped and only Gustav kept playing a beat. Bill walked to the front of the stage singing, and the crowd repeated him. Tom went closer to the edge and placed his guitar on his hips with the neck pointing out. He started rocking his hips in time with the drum beat and looked at me with a sleazy grin on his face. I just stared back at him while the girls behind me screamed like mad. 

They finished the song and immediately continued with Sacred. 

I went back to Emma and she screamed, “Did you see the way he looked at you?! I filmed it all!"

She was super excited and laughed loudly while jumping up and down. We held hands and sang along with Bill the entire time. I looked at Georg and then to Emma - I couldn’t wait to see her face when I told her about her surprise.

The boys kept playing, Bill wanted them all to stand up. He told us we were getting closer to the last song for tonight. The crowd was so awesome, all singing and screaming and following Bill’s every move.

The boys got off stage after that song and it went all dark.. But the twins came back, with acoustic instruments. They played a song just the two of them, they were so cute up there. After that, the others came back as well and they performed Rescue Me. 

They left the stage once again to a screaming audience wanting more. And we always get what we want, don't we?

They came back with towels around their necks and started playing By Your Side. It was so beautiful and the perfect song to end a perfect night for us all.

I was back with Emma on the right side after running like crazy from left to right. Then, during the last chorus, a massive stream of silver confetti fell from above. I had goosebumps all over once again and tears welled up in my eyes. There are no words to describe how I felt at that moment.

The band came to the edge of the stage and bowed for us all before leaving the stage.

I was standing with Emma while Gustav did the wave with the audience and waited until they all started to leave the venue. Eventually it was possible to talk to each other without yelling and I told Emma she had to get ready for some more fun.

One of the guards came towards us, and I was shaking with excitement to see her face in just a few minutes. The guard helped her climb over the barrier and I grabbed her hand - saying nothing about what was happening next.

I would have thought we would be exhausted after a show like that, but I was full of adrenaline and she didn’t seem to be ready to leave yet either. She was following me and asked a hundred questions that I didn't hear because she was talking too fast.

I stopped outside the door to the backstage room and looked at her. I told her to prepare herself, because the band was right there waiting for us. She just stared at me with her mouth hanging open.

"Hah, relax - they're good guys, you should know - you’ve met them before," I said with a smile and stretched my hand out to open the door.

"Wait," she said and stopped me by grabbing my arm.

"Please tell me why you're here again? Why are you with the band?"

"Oh, I met the twins on vacation and… It’s a long story. Let’s go now, they all know you’re coming," I opened the door after I got Emma's confused nodding as a confirmation.

Bill came jumping towards us with his towel still around his neck and I introduced him to Emma. He shook her hand and I had to find Georg next.

Emma had a permanent smile on her face, walking two inches from my back all the time.

“You and Bill are like salt and pepper,” she said and it made me blush.

When she mentioned it, we had a pretty similar style, just opposite hair colors. 

I saw Georg sitting in a chair a few feet away. I told Emma to stay where she was and wait while I just had to 'check something' and was walking fast toward Georg. I sat down on the armrest of his chair and poked his arm to get his attention.

"Hey, I want you to meet my friend from Sweden," I smiled and got on my feet to take him with me back to Emma. He got up and curiously followed me.

"Emma... This is Georg, but I think you know that already," I giggled.

He was her favorite member of the band and she could only laugh nervously and smile at him with blushing cheeks. Then Georg grabbed her hand and stared at her for a moment.

"What's up?" I curiously asked him, but he just kept looking at her.

"Oh man, I think I remember you! Swedish, you said? We had a CD-signing there last year..." he said without taking his eyes off of her.

"Oh my god," I squealed as I started jumping up and down in front of them and watched them still holding hands.

That was awesome, he actually remembered her. I told them to sit down and talk as I had to find the twins for a moment.

I found them on the couch where we had warmed up earlier this evening. They were laughing and having a great time. I didn't see Gustav anywhere, but I was noticing a pattern in him disappearing at random times.

"Hey guys," I sat down beside them and grabbed one of the glasses filled with champagne.

"What a fantastic show. I had the best time ever,” I yelled and my face was glowing.

“My friend Emma and Georg seem to get along," I winked and nodded my head in their direction.

The twins looked behind my back and smiled when they saw the couple.

"Hah! Georg with a girl. A rare sight," Tom laughed at his own joke.

I just rolled my eyes at his never ending teasing. Shortly after, I heard a well known voice from the door.

"Hey everyone!"

It was Gustav, suddenly appearing out of nowhere. I made sure Emma would get to greet him as well and the boys gave each of us a signed CD. We were jumping for joy and thanked them all so much for such a perfect evening. Now I had three signed items in my possession and I loved all of them. 

Tom had gotten his guitar again and we all sang together while drinking. To my great surprise, my voice was still working and I sang my heart out now that my remaining shyness was drowned in champagne. We all applauded each other and I excused myself to go to the bathroom. 

I finished up and washed my hands before checking my makeup in the mirror. It was all a mess from crying during the concert, but I just wiped away the stray streaks of black, not bothering to apply any new eyeliner at that point. 

Just as I stretched my hand out to open the door and return to the others, the handle went down and Bill appeared in the doorway.

“Bill,” I murmured, now noticing how raspy my voice really was.

“Maya…” he whispered.

We just stood there, staring into each other's eyes for what felt like an eternity. It was like my feet were glued to the floor - I couldn’t make myself move away from him. 

He leaned closer to my face until his nose almost touched mine, when he suddenly pulled away and turned his head. My heart was racing inside my chest and I felt like I couldn’t breathe.

“I’m sorry,” he said and pushed his way past me and disappeared into one of the stalls. 

I let out a long breath and had to grab onto the door frame not to collapse. Was I so drunk that I was imagining things? I didn’t even drink that much… Emma’s voice pulled me back to reality when she asked if I was okay. I gave her a slow nod and followed her back to the rest of the guys who looked like they were getting ready to leave. 

“Oh, no, is the party over?” I whined and pouted at Tom. 

“Sadly, yeah. We can’t stay here all night,” he chuckled. 

He locked his guitar away in its case and grabbed my hand to pull me away from the others.

“You’re not going home tomorrow, are you?” he asked me and I shook my head.

“No, I’m staying ‘till Sunday,” I replied with a questioning look on my face.

“Oh, great! Do you want to meet up tomorrow? I’m just too tired to party anymore tonight,” he said and pulled at his piercing with his teeth.

I tried not to stare, but was surprised about his request. I wanted to ask if Bill was coming too, but it seemed rude. And from the awkward meeting we just had at the bathroom, I wasn’t even sure if I would be able to look him in the eye ever again. 

“Oh, uh, yeah, sure?” I didn’t mean to sound so hesitant, but Tom didn’t seem to notice.

“Great! I’ll text you tomorrow then, I was thinking maybe we could grab dinner and some drinks,” he added with a grin. 

“Sounds good,” I answered and Tom went back to the others to grab his stuff.

I looked toward the bathroom door just as Bill came back. I wanted to speak to him, but he didn’t look like he was in the mood for chatting. I grimaced to myself and walked over to Emma instead. We all gathered our stuff and left the venue.

Bill had already gotten in the car that had arrived to pick the band up and Tom had made sure to call a cab for Emma and me as well. We waved the boys goodbye and got in our own car. 

Emma and I didn’t stay at the same hotel, but they weren’t too far apart. I invited her for breakfast at my hotel in the morning and she agreed to join me.

Emma got off at her hotel and I couldn’t wait to get back to my room.

I paid the driver as soon as he stopped by my hotel and hurried up to my room and slammed the door. I dropped my bag on the floor and jumped straight in the shower before crawling under my fresh blankets. 

I didn’t feel as happy as I did an hour earlier and tossed and turned in bed, wondering what went wrong. We had so much fun and then Bill suddenly turned weird on me. 

I grabbed my phone from the nightstand and tried to come up with something to write to him. I was so scared and worried that my stomach hurt when I sent the text,

_“Are you okay? I didn’t get to say goodbye to you… :( I’m sorry if I upset you in any way, I don’t want you to be sad… I hope you will sleep well and thank you again for a wonderful evening <3”_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading!   
> New chapter next week :)


	7. Saturday Night Life

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Maya is struggling with how to handle Bill's change in behavior when Tom reminds her that they are going out for dinner.

# Saturday Night Life

I woke up after a restless night of little sleep. The uneasy feeling hadn’t let go yet and I picked my phone up from the nightstand only to be met by more disappointment. Bill hadn’t replied and I clenched my eyes shut. Fuck…

With a sigh, I got up and freshened up to go meet Emma for breakfast. I hoped I would manage to keep my mood up, as she was probably still hyped up about the previous night. I didn’t want to drop my drama bomb on her when she was so happy. 

I pulled my hair up in a bun and threw a hoodie over my shoulders before going downstairs. Emma was already waiting by the elevator and the grin on her face made me smile.

“Thank you so much for last night, Maya! It was the best night of my _life_ ,” she beamed when she hugged me. 

“You’re so very welcome,” I replied and we found ourselves a table at the hotel restaurant. 

I spent the entire meal listening to Emma repeat everything that had happened the day before and her pink cheeks showed me that she would keep talking about this for a long time. 

I was very happy for her and I even caught myself being a little jealous. I wished I was left with the same positive experience, but my mind was nothing but a big pool of questions.

I kept checking my phone, but nothing new had happened. I let out a sigh when Emma asked if I was alright. 

“I’m fine! Just a little tired still, last night was wild, wasn’t it?” I chuckled and grinned at her.

Luckily for me, she accepted my answer and kept giggling about Georg until we had to leave the restaurant. I followed Emma outside to grab a smoke before she had to leave. She was going back home and had to get to the airport soon. I gave her another hug before she got in her cab and I waved her off as the car drove away. 

I returned to my room and lay down on the bed. I wished I was able to take a nap, but my anxiety wouldn’t let me. As if a lightning strike hit me straight in the gut, I shot up to a sitting position. I remembered that Tom had invited me out for dinner later. With a groan, I dragged my hands over my face before rubbing my eyes. I just wanted Bill to answer me…

My phone buzzed and I whined loudly before daring to pick it up. Please let it be Bill, please!  
It was Tom, as promised.

_“Good morning! You still up for dinner tonight? I’ve booked us a table at the best restaurant! Can’t wait ;)“_

I took a deep breath and decided to just go for it. It was my last day in Berlin and I should enjoy every second of it - even if things weren’t exactly perfect right now. I still had some hours before having to make my way there, Bill could still text me. I had to answer Tom first though;

_“Of course I am! Where is it?”_

_“Don’t worry, I’ll send a car to pick you up, 7.30 again ;)“_

I read the text and threw my phone back down on the bed. I turned to lie on my side and my eyes lingered on the backstage pass on the nightstand. The moment at the bathroom the night before played on repeat inside my head until my eyes closed.

I slept for three hours and woke up to my phone ringing.

“Shit!” I hissed and reached for it in panic.

It stopped ringing just as I got a hold of it, but it was an unknown number from back home. It was probably just a seller, thank god. I still hadn’t received any texts from either of the twins and I tried to tell myself that everything was fine. My brain didn’t want to cooperate though and kept telling me that Bill hated me and never wanted to see me again - and that he would probably change his number now too. 

I shook my head and dragged my hands through my hair. I had to get up and do something before I made up even more stupid ideas in my head. I didn’t do anything wrong and Bill had no reason to be mad at me - he was probably busy and would get back to me whenever he had the time. 

I put on my black jeans and a glittery tank top, hoping it would be an acceptable outfit for this ‘best restaurant’ Tom had picked out. I did my makeup and styled my hair and I was suddenly all ready to go, but still had a few hours left until I would get picked up. 

I sat down on the couch and texted Grace. I really wanted to tell her about the current situation in hope of getting some comforting words from her, but I decided not to. If it really turned out to be nothing, I would just seem pathetic. 

I checked the time again and realized that she was probably at work and I leaned my head back and groaned into the air. It was Saturday evening and she wouldn’t answer for a long time. At that moment I decided to go to the hotel bar and grab a drink while waiting for my driver. 

I double checked that I had my driver’s license in my wallet for ID and headed to the bar. I ordered a cider and sat down on the stool by the counter. I kept my phone next to me, both to keep track of time and to make sure I wouldn’t miss any incoming texts. The bartender made small talk as the bar was still quiet. I gave him short answers to his questions, hoping he would just take the hint and leave me alone. 

When my phone finally showed 7:20 pm, I got up and paid my bill. I headed outside for a smoke, now feeling the anxiety creeping up on me again. I stomped out my cigarette just as a car pulled up and the driver rolled down the window, calling my name. I got in the backseat and leaned back, praying for my last night to not end in disaster. 

Tom was waiting by the entrance to the restaurant and stared at me as I walked towards him. He stretched his arm out and grabbed my hand to kiss my knuckles.

"Well, hello there, Romeo..." I giggled and took a quick look around us to look for Bill.

Tom didn’t let go of my hand and pulled me along to go inside. I leaned my head back just in time to see a huge neon sign above the door, “Fahrenheit”.   
I was still feeling nervous - here I was again, going out for dinner with the guitar player of Tokio Hotel.

The place looked really fancy and I could only imagine how expensive it would be. A waiter met us and gave me a nod to welcome me as Tom pulled me along to our table. To my great surprise, Bill was already sitting by the table and my stomach felt like it imploded. 

“Hi,” I said and tried to meet his eyes, but he was staring at the menu.

This would be an interesting dinner…

The waiter returned with a menu for me too and Tom ordered a bottle of wine. I scrunched my nose and looked at Tom, as if asking him what was up with his brother. He shrugged lightly and poked Bill’s arm.

“Dude, what are you having?” 

Bill finally looked up from the menu and met my eyes. His entire body tensed up and his face looked pale. I was so confused and slightly annoyed by his behavior, but I smiled at him anyway.

“I’m sorry, I’m not really hungry… I… I should just leave you two alone,” Bill said and got up from his seat and walked out on us.

“What the fuck?” I growled and was now visibly angry. 

“He’s been weird since last night, I don’t know…” Tom said and furrowed his brows. 

The waiter interrupted us as he came back to the table and poured us our wine. I wanted to sink into a hole in the ground and end this uncomfortable silence once and for all. 

Tom kept talking and I heard his voice fade out as my mind started to wander again. I was just thinking, and picturing Tom’s face on my laptop screen. Where I was used to seeing him. I shook my head and looked at him, he was still sitting right there and it was still just as awkward. I couldn’t help but sigh and he tilted his head.

He didn’t deserve this awkwardness any more than I did and that’s when I decided to get my act together and try to focus on our dinner. He had invited me and I had accepted - now I wanted to have fun and be happy. 

Our food was served and it was amazing! Tom and I kept chatting and I told him about my new job. The Black Pearl felt like a dirty little hole compared to the place we were at and grinned at the thought. This was an experience to cherish and remember forever. 

Tom was amazingly easy to talk to, not like I had imagined at all. He was sweet and caring and a great listener. He liked to portray himself as the bad boy of the group, the one that only cared about himself, but he was really different when you just got to know him better.

"Hello? Are you on drugs or something?!" Tom waved his hands impatiently in front of my face with a laugh.

"I’m sorry... I'm just trying to sort my mind out and tell myself to stop dreaming. It doesn't work, so it might be time to stop thinking this is unreal..." I chuckled with reddening cheeks. 

"Yes... Please do that. I think I can help - I have another surprise," he continued with a smirk.

He left a pile of money on the table and we walked outside. It was getting darker and colder in the air. I started walking while lighting a cigarette when Tom grabbed my hand.

“This way, Maya," he chuckled and made a nod in the opposite direction.

"Oh! Right,” I giggled and turned around to let him lead the way.

We didn’t have to walk too far when Tom stopped outside a bar. It was loud and the lights were flashing through the door.

“Oh wow,” I whispered and grinned at him. 

I was absolutely ready for more drinks. My flight wasn’t until the afternoon the day after and going to a party with Tom seemed like an excellent idea.  
The guard let us skip the line and go straight inside, clearly knowing who Tom was. We were guided to the second floor and the V.I.P. area of the club. My mouth was hanging open, it was so cool!

A waitress served us a pair of fancy cocktails as we entered. I could see Tom’s lips move, but the music was so loud I couldn’t hear a thing. He grabbed my hand and started dancing - it looked absolutely ridiculous, but I went with it. I was never a strong dancer myself, but as long as we had fun it didn’t matter much. We danced, laughed and drank until we could barely stand on our feet anymore and it had turned into such a fun evening despite the weird start. 

We went outside for some air and a cigarette and I leaned against the brick wall for support. I kept failing to light my cigarette and almost toppled over while laughing about my drunken state. Tom grabbed my arm to hold me straight and was about to call a cab to get me back to my hotel.

“Maya, are you okay?” he laughed, but he seemed slightly worried when my legs started giving in. 

“Yeaaah…” I replied and tried to look up at him, but my neck felt like boiled spaghetti and I couldn’t keep it up.

I dropped my cigarette and Tom now had to hold me with both hands so I wouldn’t collapse. He managed to stuff his phone back in his pocket and sighed. 

“I guess we’re walking, you’ve had enough,” he finally said, but I didn’t hear a word of it.

He dragged me along and I was whining about wanting to sleep while I kept hanging around his neck all the way there.

I barely noticed that we had walked anywhere at all when my body suddenly hit a soft bed. I heard Tom walk around for a bit, but I couldn’t keep my eyes open. He sat down next to me on the bed and gave me a glass of water.

“Please, drink this,” he said and tried to lift me up to a sitting position.

I grabbed the glass and took two sips before I fell back down on the pillow. The whole room was spinning and I groaned. Then I rolled off of the bed and ran to the bathroom to throw up. I stayed in there until I was sure I was done and leaned over the sink to drink as much water as I could possibly keep down. I stumbled back to Tom with makeup running down my face and a hand on my head. I fell back down on the bed and blacked out.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading!   
> Stay tuned next week when Maya has to go back home.


	8. Departure

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The twins are making it hard for Maya to leave them behind as she has to get back home.

# Departure

I woke up the morning after, when I heard Tom’s voice. He was walking around the room with his phone to his ear. It sounded like he was talking to Bill. He turned around and hung up when he saw I was awake.

"Good morning," he said and sat down beside me on the bed, only wearing his boxers.

"M-morning," I murmured as I shielded my eyes from the light.

I had a roaring headache and slowly but surely, glimpses of memories from the night before caught up with me. Tom was in my room - why? 

I felt the nausea return and I wanted to scream. I closed my eyes again and grunted some unintelligible words about what an idiot I was. 

I couldn’t remember anything from after we left the bar, and seeing Tom in his boxers next to me on the bed made me worry. What happened? I had no idea.

Fuck. 

"I extended your check out time, but you slept quite heavily," Tom said and I groaned in response.

My mouth was dry and I saw the glass of water next to me. I drank it all and sat up while dragging my hands through my hair. 

Tom was unusually quiet and that only worried me more. I got on my feet, realizing I was at least still dressed. Thank god.

I got to the bathroom and washed my face, I looked like an absolute mess. I had one of my silent staring sessions with myself in the mirror before getting back out. I put my hair in a bun and returned to the living area.

“Lunch is being served right about now,” Tom said and it sounded like an invitation.

My stomach turned at the thought of food and I just shook my head. He nodded and pulled his sweater over his head and finished getting dressed. 

Then his words repeated inside my head… Lunch?! What time was it? I had a plane to catch! 

“Shit! Fuck!” I yelled and started running frantically around the room to gather my stuff.

I shoved everything I could get my hands on into my suitcase and whined loudly while trying to close it. I fell down to my knees and rested my throbbing head in my hands. Tom came over and put his hand on my shoulder.

“Calm down, you still have time. Need some help?” he asked and leaned his head down to try to look me in the eyes. 

I didn’t answer, I only nodded in silence. I just wanted to cry. 

Tom checked all of the rooms to make sure I had all my things packed and helped me up from the floor. 

He pulled me in for a hug and I wrapped my arms around him. He stroked my back and it calmed me down enough to take a deep breath.

I felt him rubbing his head against my hair and I broke the hug. 

I checked my face in the mirror and tried to rub some of the smeared makeup away from my cheek before grabbing my sunglasses from my handbag.

“I look like fucking shit…” I mumbled and Tom let out a laugh. 

He grabbed my suitcase for me and we made our way to the front desk to drop my keycard off.

The lady at the desk thanked us both and wished me a pleasant journey. It was pretty sure it would be anything but pleasant, but I politely thanked her and we headed out the front door.

Someone had obviously seen us arrive the night before, because as soon as we stepped outside, we were surrounded by cameras. I gasped loudly and Tom grabbed my hand. 

The cameras flashed everywhere around us and we tried to hide our faces while pushing through the crowd.

"What the fuck!" Tom growled in frustration, but kept walking with my hand safely locked in his own. 

He turned his head around and yelled, "No comment!"

I kept my mouth shut and just followed him until we reached the cabs and he got in with me to escape the uproar outside.

He gave the driver instructions in German and I sat frozen in my seat. We had managed to move so freely the entire weekend and the sudden wave of journalists caught me by surprise. 

“I’m sorry about that,” Tom said and squeezed my arm. 

“Oh, no, it’s fine… I should be the one apologizing. I’m so embarrassed,” I admitted and pulled my sunglasses off. 

I got too drunk and he had to take care of the mess. He just laughed and my lips stretched into a smile against my will.

“What?” I snarled, but couldn’t stop giggling. 

“It was actually kinda cute, you looked like you had fun!” he grinned and wiggled his eyebrows. 

“I did… Thank you so much for this weekend,” I cooed and gave him a genuine smile this time. 

The cab pulled up by the airport and Tom was about to open his door when I told him to stay.

I could handle the rest on my own and he wouldn’t have to deal with any more nagging media if they had followed us. He gave me a grateful nod and I heard him take a deep breath. 

“Come here,” I said and grabbed his arm to pull him closer.

I wrapped my arms around his neck and we shared a long hug. I didn’t know when I would get to see him again - if I ever even would at all. 

I hoped I would, but maybe they considered their task as finished - I got what I wanted and it was all done. That thought made me feel a sting in my stomach. I truly hoped that wasn’t the case, but in my head it seemed more and more likely.

“Text me when you’re home safely, okay?” Tom said when he broke the hug and a warmth spread inside me.

Maybe I was wrong. Why else would he care if I made it home or not? I nodded and finally got out of the car. 

The driver was already standing ready with my suitcase and I thanked him before he got back in the car. I watched as they drove off into the distance and felt the lump in my throat grow. 

I checked my phone and still had no text from Bill… 

The pain I felt was overwhelming and I raised a hand to massage the corners of my eyes to stop the tears. 

I swallowed hard and pulled a cigarette out of my handbag. I lit it and leaned my back against one of the pillars by the entrance. 

The parking lot in front of me was almost empty and I could hear my own pulse in the silence of the Sunday afternoon. 

I finished my cigarette and dropped the butt in a nearby ashtray when I heard a familiar voice saying my name. 

A chill went down my spine and my breath got caught in my throat. It couldn’t be… Could it?

I turned around and saw Bill standing next to a car a few meters away from me. My hand shot up to cover my mouth and I blinked repeatedly to make sure it was really him. 

I let go of my suitcase and started running. My body slammed into his and I couldn’t hold back the tears any longer.

I threw my arms around him and felt his hands on my back as I sobbed. He squeezed me tight and I heard him sniffle as well. 

“I’m sorry for not answering you, Maya…” he mumbled into my hair.

I forgave him immediately and rubbed my face into his shoulder. 

“I couldn’t let you leave without saying goodbye,” he continued and broke the hug.

I wiped my tears away and looked up into his eyes. The butterflies exploded in my stomach as his hands slid down my arms and grabbed both of my hands. I bit my lip and the tears welled up in my eyes again. 

Bill let go of one of my hands and placed his palm on my cheek, wiping a tear away with his thumb.

“Don’t cry…” he whispered and tried to smile.

“But… I’m going to miss you,” I said and my voice cracked. 

“I will miss you too,” he replied and his gaze slowly moved to my lips.

My heart raced and the hairs on my arms stood up as time seemed to have stopped around us. 

I squeezed his hand a little harder and felt my legs starting to tremble. He continued to stroke my cheek with his thumb when his other hand moved to my lower back. My lips parted with a soft gasp when he pulled me a little closer.

I placed both my hands on his hips and then he leaned down to place a soft kiss on my lips. 

At first, my eyes shot up, but they soon slid shut as I kissed him back. I moved my hands from his hips to his back and pulled him as close to me as possible. Our moment was interrupted by a voice from the speakers above us. My plane was ready for boarding.

The warm feeling inside me was replaced by pain in an instant. I didn’t want to leave - not now… 

“T-that’s mine. I… I have to go…” I whispered and looked up into Bill’s eyes. 

I felt his chest rise against mine and my lip started to quiver. I quickly bit it to make it stop and fought the lump in my throat. Bill nodded slowly and walked me back to my suitcase. I cleared my throat and reached out to grab the handle of my suitcase before turning my head to look at him. 

He nodded again, seemingly struggling to talk. I let out a long sigh and grabbed his hand one last time. He pulled me in for another hug and rested his head on top of mine for a moment. 

“Be safe, Maya… Call me when you’re home,” he said in a shaky voice and despite the pain in my chest, I smiled.

“I will,” I replied.

I had to get a move on to make it to my plane in time and Bill held on to my hand until our arms were stretched all the way out. Our fingertips eventually parted and it felt like a punch in my gut. I kept walking, but turned around one final time to see him standing there, watching me. I gave him a last smile and headed for my gate. 

I luckily had a window seat for the flight home and not even my fear of flying could take over the ache in my heart as I stared out the window. Tears were rolling down my face as I watched the vast landscapes below me. 

~

I woke up from an involuntary nap in my own bed by the sound of my phone ringing. My eyes felt like they were glued shut and I answered without checking who it was.

_“Hello…”_

_“Maya! How was your weekend? You have to tell me everything!”_

Grace was rambling in a high pitched voice and my hangover hadn’t let go of me just yet. I told her to stop screaming and talk slower. 

She laughed at me, knowing exactly what shape I was in. The emotions from the airport washed over me like a rogue wave and I told her we had to meet up to talk about it in person.

We both had Monday off work and she invited me over to her place as soon as I woke up the following day. I agreed and hung up the phone. 

With a groan, I massaged my temples and moved my gaze to my suitcase still standing untouched on the floor. It could wait. I was both physically and mentally exhausted and tried to conjure the strength to get up for a shower. I smelled like sweat and alcohol and felt quite disgusting. 

I opened my bedroom door and Lisa turned her head to look at me from the couch.

“Rough flight?” she chuckled as she saw my swollen eyes and messy hair.

“You could say that…” I mumbled back and scratched my neck. 

I didn’t feel the need to tell her the details about my weekend and went straight to the bathroom.

After my shower I hurried back to bed, longing for some sleep. I picked my phone up and saw an unread text from Bill. 

_“I miss you already… I hope you will come visit again soon <3”_

My heart fluttered and the tears were threatening to pour out of my dehydrated eyes once again. I wrote him back, saying that I missed him too and that I was sad that we lost so much time together.

I wanted to return as soon as possible, but flights were expensive… 

I put my phone down and turned to my side. The posters on my walls all seemed so strange now. I still couldn’t take my eyes off of Bill’s face and it was the last thing I saw before I fell into a deep sleep. 

~

I knocked on Grace’s front door and she yelled that it was open. I pulled the handle down and stepped inside. She came running to meet me and gave the biggest hug. 

“What… What’s wrong?” she asked, when my reaction wasn’t too enthusiastic. 

“I… I don’t even know right now,” I replied with a shrug.

I should be ecstatic about how my weekend ended, but it still hurt too much. Grace pulled me along to her living room and pushed me down on her couch. I sighed loudly and she went to get us a glass of juice. 

“Maya, what the hell happened?” she asked again as she sat down next to me. 

I bit my lip and started telling her everything about my weekend. How Tom had constantly flirted with me and how Bill had pulled me on stage during the concert. I told her about the afterparty and how Bill had been acting strange the next day. 

“Wait, what?” Grace stopped me.

“Oh, my dear friend, I’m not finished,” I said in a serious voice and her eyes grew wide as she leaned back to keep listening.

I told her about the dinner where Bill walked out on us and how I woke up in my room with Tom in my bed. She opened her mouth to answer me, but I raised my hand to stop her. 

“Nothing happened! He was being nice about it and helped me get to the airport and everything. Just when I thought Bill would hate me forever, there he was…” I continued.

I told her about the kiss and my cheeks blushed as I finally managed to smile. Grace stared at me without blinking for a moment and I had to bite my lip not to squeal. 

“No fucking way!” she screamed out and almost kicked her glass off the table with her little victory dance. 

I started laughing and pulled her back down to sit with me. When I saw her reaction, it was starting to sink in how surreal the whole weekend had been. I couldn’t decide if my story sounded like a sick joke or like a scene from a movie. 

“Yeah…” I nodded.

“So… That was my weekend,” I whispered and took a sip of my juice. 

Grace stretched her arms out to the side, not knowing how to respond anymore. I looked down at my knees and put my glass back on the table.

“I… I’m in love,” I mumbled.

“I know,” Grace laughed.

“No… I mean, for real. I’m really in love with him.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading!  
> New chapter next week!


	9. Overtime

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Maya is doing everything she can to keep in touch with the boys while waiting to get back to Berlin.

# Overtime

A few days had passed and I sat on the couch watching TV with my aunt. I had given her a brief summary of my weekend, but left out all the more intimate details. I didn’t know if she would care at all, but if she would, I couldn’t imagine her cheering me on about it. It was better to not say anything at all. 

My phone vibrated next to me and I picked it up to see a text from Bill. I opened it and saw a picture of what looked like a newspaper. I zoomed in to see what it was and saw a picture of Tom and I, standing outside the bar two days ago. I sat up straight as I felt pearls of sweat form at my hairline when I read the headline. 

_“Tokio-Tom with a girlfriend?”_

Oh, no… 

Shortly after, Bill was calling me and I excused myself as I ran to my room. I sat down on the bed and answered the call with shaking hands. 

_“Hello?”_

_“Did you get the picture?”_

_“Yeah, I just saw it… What the fuck?”_

I couldn’t quite interpret the tone of Bill’s voice and I struggled to find the right words to say. My body was in defense mode and I was scared that Bill would get the wrong idea. Luckily for me, they were used to media twisting everything into straight up lies, but I asked him what was written about Tom and I. 

He gave me a summary and it was mostly about how the fans would react to one of the twins having a girlfriend. 

_“Well, I’m not anyone’s girlfriend... So they can all take a chill pill,”_ I replied. 

I felt more at ease when Bill brushed it off as well. He threw the paper in the trash already and explained that he just wanted me to know about it. We kept having a casual chat for a few more minutes before he had to hang up. I fell down on my back on my bed and stared at the ceiling. 

I had wanted to ask Bill about our kiss, but I never found a good way to start that conversation. When we spoke, it felt as if it never happened. Our chats were pretty much the same as they had always been and I didn’t know how to feel about it. Did he regret it? Was it just a casual thing? It surely didn’t feel casual at the time… 

I exhaled loudly and clenched my fists in frustration. I couldn’t just ask him about it now, it felt too weird. All I wanted was to look him in the eyes and see for myself, but I had just returned to Sweden and had no idea when I would be able to go back to Berlin. 

What if our friendship just died out? I couldn't expect him to wait for me forever, and I certainly couldn’t invite him here. Firstly, he was probably way too busy and secondly, I would not have him stay in Lisa’s house. I kept wondering how it would be like though - he would have to sleep in my bed, since we had no guest room. 

I slapped my own forehead and sat back up to stop my mind from wandering any further. 

~

A few days went by and I was back at work. Grace and I shared our first late shift together and I had passed my bartender test. Things were going great and I would earn so much more tips from working the later, more busy shifts. 

I had already started refilling my Berlin jar, determined to be able to go see the twins again. I stayed hopeful as, thanks to the twins, I had a good amount of money left from my first trip. I still texted with them both every day and I usually spoke to Bill on the phone in the evenings. Their tour break was over and they would head back on the road for the remaining shows. I was imagining our phone calls would be further apart as well as they would be very busy during the coming weeks.

In a strange way, it felt kind of relieving - I was over obsessing a little too much. Maybe a little break could give me some time to focus on other things, even if I highly doubted it. I missed them a lot, I even missed Tom. He had made me uncomfortable for a while, but the way he stepped up for me on my last day showed me that there was so much more to him. Despite acting superficial and tough, he seemed to be really caring. 

I got up from my bed and went outside for a smoke. Summer was approaching and the sun felt warm on my bare arms. I decided to get the mail and went through it on my way back to the house. I finished my smoke and went back inside. 

I put the mail on the counter and brought the one envelope with my name on it back to my room. I sat down on my bed while humming along to the music I had playing in the background as I opened my envelope. Nothing interesting, just my phone bill. 

I took a quick glance over the piece of paper until I saw the amount at the bottom of the page. A shock went through my body when I saw it - almost 300 euros?! I had never even thought of the price for texting and calling to Germany until I saw the details on the back of the paper. 

“Oh my fucking god…” I whined to myself.

How much of an idiot could I be? Now I had to pay rent and that massive bill. I had to find another way of keeping in touch with the twins - I could absolutely not afford to keep this up. Did celebrities even have Skype or any private social media accounts? 

I picked my phone up and gave it a lesson in Swedish curse words before sending Bill a text.

_“Do you guys use Skype or anything? I just got my phone bill and holy shit.”_

I wanted to scream - this would wreck my savings for the next trip already. I reluctantly made my way to my desk to pay the bill so I never had to look at it again when my phone buzzed. Bill replied,

_“Oh my god, I’m so sorry! I never even thought about that! Are you able to pay it? I will make it up to you somehow, I promise! I’ll call you later!”_

I chuckled while reading it, imagining him freaking out over this. I never intended to sound like I needed help to pay it, but I had to admit that his text made me curious. I made sure to tell him it was fine, I could deal with it on my own and he shouldn’t worry about it. He still didn’t answer my question though, and it made me worry that we couldn’t talk as much anymore… 

I had to go get ready for my evening shift at the Pearl and decided to add a little extra makeup around my eyes and some lipstick. Maybe that would help me pull in some additional tips from the drunks in the late hours. 

“Howdy, girl!” Grace yelled and waved at me as I entered the restaurant.

She seemed to be in a good mood and it made me feel a lot better already. We got changed and helped the other waitresses clean up the tables before closing the kitchen. It was karaoke night and the bar was slowly filling up. I loved karaoke and I was bobbing my head in time with the music as I poured drinks for the joyful customers. 

By the end of the night, Grace and I had so much fun singing along to all the songs while laughing at the drunken guests missing notes and making up lyrics. We barely wanted to close the taps, but sadly we had to. As soon as the last customer left the bar, we sat down with the register to count the tips. We had made a decent amount and I told her about my massive phone bill. 

At first she laughed, but then she realized that I was pretty upset about it. 

“Aww, Maya… You’re okay with money though, right?” she asked while dropping the tips in our bags. 

I assured her I was fine. Lisa didn’t charge me too much for rent and she still did most of the grocery shopping, so it was more of an annoyance because of my travel plans than any danger of starving or losing my home. 

We locked up and made our way home. Lisa had already gone to bed so I just grabbed myself a glass of water and went to my room. I sat down on my bed with my laptop and a notification popped up. I had a new message on Skype.

My heart skipped a beat when I opened it up and saw it was from Bill. I didn’t even have time to reply before an incoming video call popped up on my screen. 

“Shit!” I hissed through my teeth as the anxiety rose.

I had never video chatted with him before and I felt just as nervous as the first time he called me on the phone. Luckily for me, I hadn’t removed my makeup from work yet, so I dared answer the call. 

_“Hi!”_ the twins cheered on my screen and I was startled by the volume being too high.

I turned it down not to wake Lisa and tried to speak loudly enough for them to hear me and not disturb my aunt. The boys were sitting on a couch in their tour bus and looked so excited.

_“Wow! You’re on the bus!”_ I exclaimed and they both nodded.

They had played a show that evening and were on their way to the next city. Bill looked amazingly cute with his newly washed hair hanging straight down and no makeup around his eyes. I couldn’t stop smiling as they talked over each other and kept bickering as they pushed each other out of view. 

_“We made Skype accounts and you’re our only friend,”_ Tom laughed and gave me a smug smirk. 

I slapped my hand on my chest in an exaggerated motion, showing them how honored I felt. I really was, but I didn’t want to go all crazy fangirl on them on camera. I was just so happy to see both their faces again. 

Tom excused himself to go to the bathroom and I watched as Bill turned his head to make sure Tom was out of hearing range. Then he leaned close to the screen and asked me when I was coming back.

_“Oh, uh… I don’t know, I need so save some more money first,”_ I admitted. 

The butterflies had a party in my stomach as I watched Bill’s face. The face of my longtime celebrity crush, asking me to come visit him. Bill nodded in understanding before starting to count on his fingers.

_“How long do you need? We’ll be back home by the end of July, how does that look?”_ he asked. 

I let out a laugh and felt heat rise in my cheeks. I could barely believe that he was asking me this and boy, did I want to have another trip to look forward to. I told him I had to check with my boss if I was even eligible for a summer vacation when I had started working there so recently. I started to plan the conversation starter in my head already and wondered if I could possibly work overtime to earn a few days off to go back to Germany. 

_“I’ll check, okay? I really want to come back, you know…”_ I said with a smile. 

Tom came back and squeezed himself down on the couch next to his brother when I heard a knock through my wall. I grimaced into the camera and told them that my aunt was trying to sleep and I had to hang up. They whispered their goodbye’s and I waved at them before closing the call. 

I sank back on my pillow and felt my hands shaking. I sat back up when a new message notification caught my attention. It was from Tom,

_“Here’s my account too. Just message me here so you don’t get any more crazy phone bills :D Oh, and please don’t show our accounts to anyone… You know how it is lol”_

I chuckled and promised that I wouldn’t. Like I ever would have anyway.

~

I had the following day off work, but I decided to go over to the restaurant to see if my boss had a minute to spare. He was really nice and he had told me several times how good of a job I was doing. Now all I could do was pray that he would let me work up some vacation days for the end of July.

I was feeling a little nervous - if he said no, who knew when I would get to see the twins again? I pushed the entrance door open and walked inside. They had just opened and had only one table to attend to yet. I nodded a greeting to my colleague behind the counter and made my way to my boss’ office. 

I knocked and he let me in. I sat down in front of his desk and went through my request once more in my mind before laying it all out for him. I folded my hands so hard on my lap that my knuckles went white while waiting for his answer. He checked the summer schedule on his computer and hummed while scrolling. 

It felt like several hours had passed when he started slowly nodding as he made some notes. 

“Summers are actually not too wild for us as everyone goes to the big cities, so… Yeah, if you want to, you can take some extra shifts and maybe do some double ones in June,” he started.

My face stretched into the biggest grin as he kept talking.

“I’ll give you two weeks off, last of July and first of August. Sound good?”

My eyes grew wide. Two whole weeks?! I could feel my own heartbeat rise as I shot up from my chair and thanked him ten times over. I promised I would work hard and cover whatever he needed me to for the next month and a half. It would be hard, but so worth it. 

I hurried back home and called Grace with the amazing news. I even offered to take some of her shifts too if she wanted some days off. I would make this happen, no matter the cost. Despite the temptation, she needed to keep her shifts, but that meant that I could at least have her there while working my ass off.

I got myself a glass of water and sat down by my desk. I loaded up Skype on my laptop to update the boys. I opened the chat window to Bill first and started typing.

_“Hey! I have some pretty cool news…”_

Shortly after, his name was accompanied by a green dot, indicating that he was online. 

_“Tell me!”_

_“I got two weeks off work! End of July and start of August! :D”_

_“Yayyy! You’ll be here for two weeks? :O”_

_“Oh, I don’t think I can afford two whole weeks at a hotel, but I will surely come visit!”_

I realized that I may have cheered too soon. I forgot about the hotel costs… I could afford another four day trip like last time, but not two whole weeks. I watched the dots moving at the bottom of the chat window, waiting for Bill to finish typing. When the dots stopped moving and his message appeared, I choked on my mouthful of water.

_“Fuck the hotel… You can stay with us, free of charge <3”_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading!  
> Next week, Maya will make final preparations for her new trip!


	10. Preparations

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Maya has to handle some weird messages from Tom. She is having a talk with aunt Lisa and spending some time with Grace before she's leaving for Berlin.

# Preparations

I had just gotten out of the shower after my evening shift and sat down on my bed. I opened the laptop and saw an unread message from Tom. 

_“Heyy! Last show tonight! It’s kinda sad, but it also means that you’re coming over soon!”_

I smiled to myself and sent a glance over at my Berlin jar. I had put all my tips in there and it was half full already. More than enough for my summer vacation to Berlin. I looked back at my screen and felt the excitement grow inside as I started typing,

_“I just came home from work, so it’s too late for me to say good luck… I’m sure you nailed it as always tho :D”_

I caught myself avoiding the subject of me coming to visit them without quite knowing why. I was going to stay at their house and I was admittedly a little nervous about it. I didn’t know them that well, even if we chatted pretty much every day. It just wasn’t the same as being together in person. 

The noise of an incoming message made me focus on my screen again, 

_“Thanks to me we did ;) We’re on our way home now, but everyone is asleep…”_

I knew Tom well enough to understand that hint. He was bored and wanted to chat. I was pretty exhausted from work, but I wasn’t quite ready to sleep yet. I leaned back and pulled my laptop with me to chat for a while. 

_“Ha-ha, I’d like to see you perform the whole show on your own if you’re that good lol.”_

_“You know I could, right?”_

_“Of course. You’re the master.”_

_“How was work though? You gettin’ ready for your trip over here?”_

So we’re back on that subject then. 

_“Work was fine! I’m exhausted, but ready :D I have a few days off now before I’m getting back on that plane.”_

_“Good, good! You must be ecstatic about staying at our house, aren’t you?”_

I scoffed to myself. Tom always talked about himself like some kind of god and even if it was funny, it made me roll my eyes. Maybe I knew them better than I dared realize. Tom was obviously right, but I wouldn’t let him have that point. 

_“Everything that’s free is good, right? ;)”_

I giggled to myself and awaited his reply as I watched the moving dots showing that he was typing.

_“I knew you were just leeching on us… I’m disappointed.”_

_“Why else would I text you every day? If it wouldn’t give me free stuff, I wouldn’t bother, you know.”_

Now I was chuckling loudly and had to pull myself together not to wake Lisa. Tom knew I was just playing along though and I wasn’t worried at all. Until his next message popped up.

_“You mean my brother, right?”_

My smile quickly faded and I stared at the screen for a minute straight. What did he even mean? I wouldn’t know if I didn’t ask.

_“What?”_

_“You’re texting him more than you text me, I’m not blind.”_

I was confused and worried at the same time. I felt like I was backed into a very uncomfortable corner and it made me wonder if Bill ever told him about the kiss at the airport. Something suddenly felt way off. 

_“You’re the one who gave him MY number lol, remember? I don’t understand what you’re on about really…”_

I hit send, but chewed nervously on my lip. Most of all, I wanted to just close my laptop and not deal with this nonsense, but Tom was quick to reply.

_“Nevermind. I’m going to bed too, good night ;* “_

I watched as his green dot turned grey and let my hands fall slide off my laptop in defeat. What the fuck was that all about? I didn’t even understand if he was joking or not - that kissing smiley at the end sent me a whole lot of mixed signals. 

I let out an exasperated sigh and closed my laptop shut. I wanted to talk to Bill and ask him, but he was already asleep. Just like last time - a few days before I was getting on that plane, I was having an internal nervous breakdown. I decided to try to get some sleep and deal with it in the morning.

~

The following morning, the sun was shining brightly through my curtains. I woke up and rubbed my eyes with a groan. My suitcase was standing in front of my bed, waiting to be packed, but I had to talk to Bill before I did anything else. 

I didn’t even get up to brush my teeth before pulling my laptop up from the floor and opening it. I read the last texts from Tom from the night before and they made just as little sense to me as they did before. I opened Bill’s window and rested my fingers on my keyboard for a moment before starting to type. 

_“Good morning… Anything up with Tom lately? He sent me some weird texts last night.”_

I closed my eyes and hoped I didn’t stir something up with my dumb imagination. It was probably nothing. Bill was offline, so I got up to freshen up and get myself a coffee.

I pulled my hair up in a bun and grabbed my mug to head back to my room. I walked straight past my empty suitcase and checked my laptop. Bill was typing so I sat down with my legs crossed and sipped at my coffee with an uneasy feeling inside. 

_“Morning, sweetie! I can’t say I’ve noticed anything, why? What did he say?”_

I put my mug down on my nightstand and chewed on my lip. I didn’t want to repeat what Tom said, for several reasons. Either Bill told Tom about the kiss and Tom was jealous or Bill didn’t say a thing, but Tom was still jealous… At least that’s what it seemed like to me. 

_“He was probably just tired, it was nothing important :)”_

I hit send and rolled my eyes. I didn’t want to create a scene, but at the same time I really wanted to know what was going on. I convinced myself to drop it for now - in a few days I would see them both again. Hopefully, everything would be fine by the time I got there. 

_“That’s likely! He’s still sleeping, so he’ll be fine. How are you?”_

_“I’m all good! Are you happy with the last part of your tour? :D”_

We kept talking for a while until Bill had to go and I closed my laptop. I had to do some laundry so I could start packing. I regretted not asking Bill about the kiss this time either, but I would die of embarrassment if he’d told me it meant nothing. I wanted to keep the hope alive for as long as possible. 

The rest of my day felt like a dream. My mind was constantly on the twins and how it would be like to stay at their house. At that moment it felt like a gamble - would it be weird or would it be perfect? Only time would tell. 

I had dried some of my jeans and put them in my suitcase already. I didn’t have any plans before leaving, so I packed all my nicest clothes so I could wear sweatpants for the remaining days at home. I did the same as last time and put my passport and plane ticket on my desk when I heard Lisa call for me.

I opened my bedroom door and saw her on the couch. I walked over and sat down next to her, waiting for her to tell me what she wanted. 

“What?” I impatiently asked.

“Is it a concert this time as well?” she asked and took a sip of her wine. 

“Actually, no… I’m just visiting my friends,” I explained.

I hadn’t told my aunt too much about the twins since my last trip - I saved all the details for Grace. I leaned back on the couch and put my feet on the table.

“You mean those boys on your wall? You’re friends now?” she asked while slowly moving her gaze to my feet.

I quickly pulled them back down to the floor and felt my cheeks blush. 

“Yeah, they are,” I admitted, realizing I had told her even less than I thought I had. 

“That must be cool! I bet you didn’t see that coming, huh?” she chuckled. 

Once again, I was surprised by her tone of voice and general happiness for me. She made a joke about how her taking Grace and me on vacation was the reason I even knew the twins at all. I laughed and let her have her moment of glory. She was right though and I felt a sting of regret for being such a bitch to her. 

“Hey, I’m sorry for being a crybaby that day…” I said. 

“It’s okay, Maya. I know how important they are to you… I’m sorry too - for not just letting you guys go to the show.”

I turned my head and stared at her, not sure if I heard her right.

“You know… I think this is how it was meant to happen. If you had let me go to the show, I would probably never have met them,” I said with a smile. 

“And if you hadn’t, you probably wouldn’t have been motivated to get that job. See? Auntie knows best!” she chuckled and looked at me.

We both laughed and she told me to get up and make sure I had everything I needed in the dryer. I got up and started to make my way to the laundry room, but I stopped and turned back around. I leaned over the back of the couch and gave my aunt a hug. We never hugged and she seemed unsure how to reach, but she eventually raised a hand and patted my arm. 

“Good night, auntie,” I said. 

“Sweet dreams, Maya.” 

~

The final day at home was finally there and Grace was over at my place for us to spend some time together. She sat at my bed and studied all my posters as well as the framed backstage pass and receipt on the nightstand. 

“I can’t believe that that dumb little piece of paper lead to all of this,” she giggled and let her finger slide over the frame. 

“A series of very fortunate coincidences,” I replied with a laugh. 

Both Lisa and Grace had played a hand in all of this happening and I almost felt a little guilty for everything they had done for me, while I got the biggest reward of them all. I was making friends with my heroes, while they stayed back home with their regular lives. 

“What are you guys going to do? You’re going away for so long!” Grace asked and I could hear the disappointment in her voice.

“I’m not sure, actually…” I said and sat down next to her. 

I wanted to spend time with her too, but she didn’t have her vacation just yet. I would definitely miss her, but deep inside I prayed that it would be worth it. She would still be here when I came back. 

“I bet the twins know about all the best places to go. And Berlin is so huge that you can’t possibly run out of things to do,” Grace continued. 

Tom had already shown me a few of his favorite places, but there were surely more to come. On the other hand, I didn’t quite expect a sightseeing tour to be the main event of my visit. I just wanted to be with them and whatever they wanted to do, I would follow. 

Grace stayed for dinner and when it was time for her to leave, I followed her outside for a smoke. She gave me a long hug and told me she would miss me, but wished me a fantastic vacation. I told her I would keep her up to date on everything and we already planned a date on her blankets when I came back home. 

I waved her goodbye as she headed home and went back inside to my room. I double checked my suitcase and sat down on my bed with my laptop and sent a message to Tom. 

_“I’m going to bed soon, I can’t wait to see you guys again :D”_

_“Me neither! I hope you sleep well, we’ll have someone pick you up at the airport, alright?”_

I thanked him and we told each other good night. He hadn’t said anything else about me talking with Bill so much and I sure as hell wouldn’t bring it back up unless necessary. I tried to make myself forget it, but it kept gnawing at the back of my mind. Hopefully it would help to get to spend time with them again. 

I closed my laptop and crawled under my covers after one more glance at my desk to make sure my passport hadn’t ran away.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading!   
> Stay tuned next week for Maya's first night in the twins' house.


	11. First Night

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Maya finally arrives in Berlin and gets to go with the twins for shopping and a movie night!

# First Night

My sunglasses shielded my eyes from the warm July sun as I stepped out of my plane. I remembered the way to the baggage reclaim from last time and made my way there. Every doubt in my mind was replaced by excitement to meet the boys again. I got my suitcase and headed for the exit to look for my driver.

“Miss Blom?” 

“Yes, sir.” 

I kept staring out the window of the car, trying to guess which house was theirs. When the car finally stopped, I realized that I lost my own game. The house was absolutely beautiful and probably three times bigger than Lisa’s. 

My driver got out and opened the door for me and I couldn’t stop staring at the house while he got my luggage from the trunk. He then guided me to their front door and I found it strange that he would do that, but my thoughts were soon interrupted by Bill’s grinning face. 

Bill didn’t even look at the man standing next to me and pulled me inside before shutting the door. He wrapped his arms around me in a tight hug and a warmth spread inside my body. 

“Maya!” 

I opened my eyes and let go of Bill to see Tom come running down the stairs. I smiled broadly and stretched my arms out to hug him as well. My stomach decided to remind us all that it was almost dinner time and my cheeks instantly blushed when the twins laughed. 

"I can order a pizza!" Bill suggested.

I loved that idea, so Bill grabbed his phone to make the order. Meanwhile, Tom gave me a quick tour of the first floor. They had a kitchen island with matching barstools and everything looked so well planned out. He then took me to the living room and I gasped at their huge TV hanging on the wall.

“Wow…” I sighed, not intending to say it out loud. 

“That’s what she said,” Tom replied and I couldn’t help but laugh while rolling my eyes. 

Tom started to browse for movies while Bill prepared the table for our meal. They were both chatting as if we’d known each other for years and I didn’t feel as awkward as I thought I would feel. 

Shortly after, the pizza arrived and Bill went to get it before sitting down on my right side. I had to hold back a giggle - I was sitting there between the Kaulitz twins, on their own couch, sharing a pizza. Who said dreams don't come true?

“Ah, I’m so tired-..." Tom started, but his phone interrupted him.

"Hello? Yes... We are... Yes! Yes, ok.. Great. Bye." Both Bill and I looked at him.

"Mom wants me to come over," Tom explained as he shoved his phone back in his pocket.

"Okay, why only you?" Bill wondered.

"Like I know! Well, I think I'm just gonna spend the night. I’m so damn tired I won’t be able to come back here without falling asleep," he said and looked disappointed.

"That's okay. I have company here anyways," Bill smiled. 

"Let's go, let's go, let's go..." Tom mumbled to himself while putting his shoes on.

Bill was cleaning up after the meal and turned the TV off. I got up to tell Tom goodbye when he kissed my cheek and gave me a wink.

"See ya girls tomorrow then! Bye!" he yelled and slammed the door with no respect for neighbours.

Bill rolled his eyes at his brother and hummed a familiar tune to himself as he put the last plate away in the dishwasher. I sang with him,

_"Turn around, I am here, if you want, it’s me you’ll see."_

I was a giggling mess, feeling like a teen who was allowed to be home alone for the first time. Bill grabbed my hand and made me spin a pirouette before he sang softly again, 

_“I am by your side, just for a little while…”_

I couldn’t stop smiling and my heart was beating so hard I was sure he could hear it. 

“Are you okay?” he asked.

I wished I could just stay awake forever and watch his beautiful face every second for the rest of my life.

“I’ve never been better,” I admitted and gave him a sweet smile.

Bill helped me get my suitcase upstairs and gave me the continued house tour.

"There we go, bathroom. Over there is Tom’s room, studio over there," he explained while he stood in the middle of the second floor pointing around himself.

“You can have this room,” he said and opened a door next to his own.

It was cold and empty from not being used, but it was very nice. 

“It’s lovely!” I gasped while pulling my suitcase inside and leaving it next to the bed.

It was getting dark outside and the only light source in the room was the weak street lights shining through the thin curtains. Bill grabbed my hand and tilted his head as he looked into my eyes and I stared back into his. He pulled me close to his body and I let out a weak whine. I felt my body tense up and I held my breath, unable to think straight. 

“Sshh…” he said and pulled my head down on his shoulder.

It was like he could feel my anxiety rising. I loved how he was just tall enough for me to rest my head perfectly on his shoulder like that. I let out a sigh and closed my eyes. 

“Relax… This is going to be two amazing weeks, I promise,” he spoke in a soft voice while stroking my back with the palm of his hand.

His voice was so soothing, I could let my breath out and feel my pulse slow down. He let me go and we made the bed together before he gave me a final hug and told me good night. I crawled under the soft covers and mentally beat myself up for, once again, not asking about the kiss. Everything felt as if it had never even happened. I played the evening on repeat inside my head until I fell asleep.

~

I woke up with a jolt in the morning when I heard the key in the front door downstairs. I was suddenly fully awake and had to look around the room a few times to remember where I was. When I finally realized, I felt a wave of emotions wash over me.

I had that awkwardly familiar feeling I used to have whenever I slept over at a friend’s house as a kid and my friend left the bedroom before I was awake. I never dared to walk into the kitchen or living room when everyone else was already there. I clenched onto the blanket and tried to make a plan of how to spend this coming day.

I heard footsteps coming up the stairs, followed by a knock on my door.

“Yes?” I answered with a raspy voice and immediately cleared my throat.

The door cracked open and Tom peeked inside.

"Maya...?" he whispered and sat down beside me on the bed.

Kind of weird, but alright. I made sure my legs were properly covered and smiled at him.

"Good morning, Tom," I answered.

"So, slept well?" He seemed happy to know I was awake.

"Mmmm..." I stretched my arms and yawned.

I had slept incredibly well, in fact. He told me about how he had to help his mom to fix her computer and they stayed up for hours without solving the problem. 

"...And then I just fell asleep with my head in the instruction book!" he laughed.

His laughter was so contagious that I chuckled along with him, imagining him drooling all over the book in his sleep. 

“W-would you mind getting me a towel? I really need a shower,” I said.

“Of course! I’ll leave it on the counter in the bathroom and I’ll get started on some breakfast,” he smiled and got back up from the bed and closed the door behind him.

I lay back down for a minute, staring at the ceiling. It felt so utterly unreal that I wasn’t sure if I dared leave the bed - I may still be dreaming.

Eventually, I got up and managed to guess my way to the correct door and opened it while rubbing my eyes. When my vision cleared back up, I saw a silhouette by the sink.

“Oh, God! I’m so sorry!” I screamed.

A shirtless Bill was brushing his teeth with nothing but a towel around his waist and I struggled not to stare. Bill just laughed and finished up.

“All yours,” he said and winked as he left the bathroom.

I slapped my hand on my chest, trying not to faint as I regained my senses.

I took my shower and then realized I forgot to bring my clothes. I took a quick look around the abnormally large bathroom and saw a pile of folded t-shirts. I figured they had to be clean since they were folded so nicely, so I grabbed one and pulled it over my head. It had to be one of Tom’s, as it looked like a dress on me. Better than risking running into one of them in my birthday suit.

I leaned down on the sink and stared at my own reflection for a moment. I couldn’t help but grab the collar of the shirt and pull it up to smell it. My eyes rolled back in my head and I moaned silently. So good...

I manned up to get myself downstairs and the twins were busy cooking. 

“Smells good,” I said and they both turned around.

None of them said a word, but I noticed they both looked at my bare legs visible below the long t-shirt. I giggled and apologized for stealing it. Tom cleared his throat and looked back up at my face.

“N-no worries, take whatever you want,” he said and fiddled with his fingers.

Bill had done his makeup, but not the hair - he looked so very cute with a few waves in his shiny, black hair. 

“Sit down, food is ready!” he announced and gave me a plate filled with pancakes and some slices of fruit and a glass of orange juice on the side.

We finished our breakfast and decided to go see some of the city. Bill wanted to go shopping and I agreed in an instant before going back upstairs to change my clothes. I was very excited about this day and while getting ready to leave, Tom gave me one of his caps' and suggested I wore my sunglasses.

"You will thank me later," he laughed.

I nodded and adjusted my blonde ponytail to fit with the cap. Bill just grabbed a hat and a pair of sunglasses for himself and I couldn’t do anything but smile about this whole situation.

Me, Maya - from a small city in the middle of nowhere, now in Berlin with the Kaulitz twins, hiding my face from the public.  
Tom told me there was always someone recognizing them on the street no matter what and I should try to hide my face if I saw a camera. I nodded my head while they explained how it all worked.

"Okay, let's go..." Tom said and patted my arm.

The sun was shining and I had never felt so giddy. I could see people whisper to their friends as we walked down the streets of beautiful Berlin. I couldn’t help but feel awfully proud and privileged at that moment. The twins usually didn’t mind stopping to greet their fans, but no one approached us so we were free to get to where we wanted with no interruptions. 

Bill stopped outside a Diesel store and we followed him. He headed straight for the jeans counter and grabbed a pair of black ones and paid for them at record speed. 

"Okay, that was fast... Are you sure they fit?" I asked.

"Hello... It's Bill. It's Diesel. It's jeans. He knows the sizes here and knows what fits just by touching them!" Tom answered with a laugh before Bill even had time to say a word.

"Ha-ha," Bill grimaced and stuck his tongue out at his brother.

I showed him I thought it was cute by smiling sweetly at him. He let out a short giggle and wanted to show me more of his favorite stores. I found some cool outfits for myself as well, but Tom didn’t buy a single thing and looked quite ready to go back home. 

On our way back, a girl walked calmly up to us asking the guys for an autograph and a picture. She got her items signed and I took their photo and she was super sweet and polite.

We got back home and Tom picked up the newspaper before unlocking the door and turning the alarm off. I hurried inside and dropped my three bags on the middle of the floor and emptied them.

“This is so cool! We don’t have stuff like this back home! Thank you so much!" I cheered with a big grin.

Both twins were quietly looking at me, sitting on the floor surrounded by clothes. I looked at Bill first and saw his cheeks slowly turn bright red. I looked down and then moved my eyes to Tom. He had a playful spark in his eyes and gave me a sleazy smile. What did I do now? 

Bill pulled himself together and said, "No need to thank us, Maya. You need clothes!"

"No, she doesn't!" Tom yelled to Bill’s face and laughed.

Bill just rolled his eyes and came over to help me while I just pretended I didn’t hear that. We gathered my new clothes and brought them upstairs. Bill accompanied me to the guest room and helped me clean out a wardrobe so I didn’t have to keep all my stuff in the suitcase. 

~

"Bill! I need your help!" I yelled from the kitchen with both my hands filled with plates and glasses.

We had made tacos to spend the evening with another movie. Bill got the rest of the stuff we needed and we made our way to the couch. Tom was still sitting on the floor browsing movies. I leaned back and dropped my arms down beside me. I closed my eyes and took a deep breath.

Tom was deeply concentrated with the movies as he kept reading titles. Then I felt something on my hand - it was tickling and I immediately thought it was a spider. I quickly pulled my hand back when I opened my eyes. Bill was looking at me and I saw his hand sitting where mine was just a moment ago. I moved my hand back and stoked his knuckles with the tip of my finger. He smiled and his dark eyes hypnotized me as a wave of warmth rushed through my body.

I couldn't help myself and just stared back at his beautiful face. Then I heard Tom make a happy noise from the floor.

"Yes, this one!" He exclaimed and waved a movie cover in the air.

"Titanic?!" I screamed. "No, please, Tom!"

"Yes, Tom! We'll watch over you, won't we, Bill?" he chuckled and looked at his brother.

"Oh... Sure!" Bill looked confused, like he hadn't heard a word we said.

"Okay, fine. Tom, play the movie. Bill, go ahead, take some food."

I was looking forward to an evening with my two favourite boys in the world and one of the best movies ever made, I just hoped I would make it through it without crying.

We were done eating long before the movie was over, so Bill paused it to take the dishes to the kitchen. I decided to help him and Tom the Slob was just watching. Bill dropped all the plates in the sink as we were in the middle of the movie and I did the same thing with my load of stuff. 

"You like the movie?" he asked, probably in lack of a better thing to say.

"I love it! It's one of my favorites… I just get really emotional," I giggled and grabbed his hand to pull him back to the couch before I said something I shouldn’t say.

Titanic was a movie I could watch over and over again and it's just as scary, sad and romantic every single time. This time was no exception at all and when the ship hit the iceberg I reached down and squeezed Tom’s hand.

“Whoa!” he exclaimed, clearly deep into the movie himself.

"Shit, sorry... I just... It's just... Sorry," I stuttered and let out a nervous laugh as I let go of his hand.

I sat in the middle of the soft couch with the boys on each side of me. Tom was leaning back all relaxed, while Bill was holding a pillow against his chest with wide eyes. Tom could feel me tense up as the ship was going down and he turned his head and stared at me. Suddenly he started laughing, he found it funny that I was so into the movie.

"Shut the fuck up, Tom! Watch the movie, dammit!" I whined.

He kept giggling for several minutes and I just crossed my arms over my chest, pretending to be deeply offended. I kicked my slippers off and pulled my legs up on the couch and leaned over to Bill's side. He didn't pay attention and threw his arms up in the air.

“You're scaring me..." he whispered and let out the tiniest laughter, but I didn't move away.

"Tom is mean... Be nice to me and let me watch in peace," I said while looking at Tom with a sarcastic, hateful look in my eyes.

Then I looked back at Bill and gave him a pleased smile, since he allowed me to enter my own world while watching the rest of the movie.

Tom scoffed and rolled his eyes as a response before moving his gaze back to the TV. I was leaning against Bill, and when we all paid attention to the movie again he slowly put his arm around my shoulders.

I sent a discreet glance at Tom, but he was concentrating on the TV screen for once. Since he didn't notice, Bill let his arm relax around me. I leaned my head on his chest and I felt that familiar tingle in my stomach. I was lying there with my eyes halfway closed as the ship was sinking and Jack and Rose were dragged under water. I was holding my breath until they were both back above the surface and I noticed Bill did the same.

Jack and Rose really loved each other, they survived the crash and were still together. Forbidden love... The engaged rich girl, with the poor bastard who won tickets to the ship in a lucky hand of poker. They had just met and knew it was love from the very first day. But then, the moment I knew had to come - Rose turned around to tell Jack the rescue boats were near. He didn't answer. She kept screaming his name with what was left of her voice in the cold. Silence. I felt a tear roll down my cheek. He wasn't going with her. She let go of his hands and his frozen body sank into the black ocean.

My tears were flowing and I felt Bill's shirt getting wet under my cheek. I didn't know if he noticed, but if he did, he didn't say anything. I just felt his thumb stroking my shoulder in a comforting way. I raised my hand to dry my tears away and then Tom turned around. 

"Aww, poor baby..." he lovingly patted my arm, when he saw Bill's hand on my shoulder.

"You have to hold her so she won’t drown in her own tears?" Tom just laughed it off and didn't seem to mind much.

I sat back up and Bill removed his arm. He didn't say a word, so I just slapped Tom’s knee like saying; ‘Fuck you, for _not_ crying.’

"I knew it would end like this. That movie is killing me!" I sniffled and laughed.

My face was still wet, but I was smiling at Tom while saying those words. Tom got up from the couch, stretched his arms and turned the TV off. 

"Well, I’m going to bed, guys," Tom looked tired and so were we, so we all went upstairs. 

I went to my room to change into my PJs while waiting for my turn in the bathroom. I heard the door open and made my way over there. Bill met me in the hallway and my heart was beating faster as his eyes met mine. 

“Good night, Maya,” he said with a smile.

“Good night, Bill.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading!  
> Stay tuned next week for a dramatic turn of events...


End file.
